Why does my Mom Hate Me (Reasons)

Why does my Mom Hate Me

There are times when you get into argument with someone and in the heat of the moment, you say something that might hurt the other person badly or the other way around. Sometimes, people tend to say things in anger which they really do not mean or it just gets out because they do not know what they are saying. For example, there might be some instances when you have gotten so angry at someone that you might have said, “I want you gone forever”? You probably do not really mean it but in your anger, you just sprouted it out. In a similar situation, if you are in an argument with your mom and she says that she hates you, this does not mean that she really hates you and will most likely have a sense of guilt and feel more awful for saying something like this. After calming down, it is better if you talk to her regarding this. In this article, we will learn Why does my Mom hate Me. 

Why does my Mom Hate Me (Reasons)

There might be other reasons for you to believe that your mom might hate you but that might not involve or will be related to fighting. There is a chance that you might believe that you are treated differently by her as in comparison with your other siblings. There might be another reason that you are not spending much time with your mom or she is being too hard on you and critical of anything you do. In this article we will learn, Why does my Mom hate Me. 

There might be a chance that you think that your mom might hate you because she treats you differently than your siblings, just so you know you are not alone in thinking like this or having this concern. It is quite normal to think in this way as there might be instances where parents do not realize themselves that they are unintentionally treating their children differently. So, it is always a good idea to buckle up, think about what you have to say, and talk with your mom about it. In this article we will learn, Why does my Mom hate Me. 

Inform her of the feelings that you have that she might be treating you unfairly and she treats your siblings with more favor and you are concerned about it and thinks in your heart or mind that she basically hates you. Hearing you say such things will most probably shock your mother and she will feel awful and bad which will result in going out of her way to make you feel more comfortable and to show her love for you. It is very important to communicate with your mother if you feel like your mom hates you rather than dwelling in the thought process that why does my mom hate me? and swelling into it. If you will keep these feelings to yourself, this can end up in you having resentment and your mom will never come to know of these emotions and how you feel about her, and without knowing about it she can never fix the issue or resolve the problem.

Why does my Mom Hate Me (Reasons)

Other Reasons You May Feel (Why does my Mom hate Me) 

We have already discussed the main reason that can end up in you thinking that your mom hates you which is treating you differently than the treatment she gives your siblings, however it is really hard to pinpoint the main reason behind your feelings and emotions and how they turned out to be like this. In this article we will learn, Why does my Mom hate Me. 

Maybe you cannot pinpoint to the exact reason or think of any specific thing that might have resulted in you thinking this way, there is a chance that these feelings might be the result of years of actions and results which ended up in you interpreting that your mother hates you and does not love you at all. Every person expresses their love in their own unique way and might not be able to express their love openly, that is why it is better first to understand the importance of how you need to be loved and also that your mother might be expressing her love for you in some different way. She might be giving you love in her own unique way but maybe you need her to express in some other way and this can be taken into much more consideration by having a discussion with her and letting your mom know in what way you want to be feel loved which can also make the talk with your mom more effective and you can come up with solutions regarding this matter. Try to understand the reason behind your thought i.e. Why does my Mom hate Me. 

Why does my Mom Hate Me (Reasons)

Alternatively, there is also a possibility that you might feel the same way if you are not spending much time with your mom, especially some quality time. Nowadays we are all living in a busy world, with everyone having their own priorities and ways to handle the prioritizing of their time differently. Your mom might be trying to juggle a lot of things inside her tight schedule and might not be able to spend a lot of time with you which might end in you feeling bad because she is not spending much time with you and is prioritizing other activities over you. This might also result in you not having much time to spend with your mom and there is no or very little chance to hang out over the week together. Feeling badly related to this is okay, but you should also understand the reasoning that she might be preoccupied with her work so you should not interpret it as she hates you or does not like to spend time with you. She might be doing multiple things for you that you cannot even interpret normally and might take those things for granted in your life, it is also possible that she is busy because she is trying to earn a living for her family, for you and in the busy life of work she might often forget to take a break in between and spend some time with you but in no way, this means that she hates you. Try to understand the reason behind your thought i.e. Why does my Mom hate Me.

There is a chance that you might have to make her realize that these actions of her make you feel bad and she also has to take some time out and relax. Take some time out and ask her to have communication with you, and be assertive about it. Start the conversation by telling her about your feelings and how awful or bad you feel when she does not take time out for you and does not spend time with you, also let her know that it will really make you happy if both of you can spend some more quality time together. There might be a way to be more assertive by offering to help with different things around the household which can release some burden on your mom so she can have more free time. Most probably she is not even aware of the impact her business is having on you and will love to get some more free time to spend it with you on top priority. Try to understand the reason behind your thought i.e. Why does my Mom hate Me.

One of the other reasons that might result in you thinking that your mom hates you might be when she says strict things towards you or she is critical of the way you do things or negative towards you. It is possible that you think of it as rude and her behavior as unacceptable and thinks that she doesn’t want you to succeed but in fact, it is the quite opposite and she might be trying to help you in her own way to learn better and to give your best. This kind of thing is a common misunderstanding which often is being brought between parents and children and can be eliminated by simply communicating with each other. Try to understand the reason behind your thought i.e. Why does my Mom hates Me.

Remember, there is always a reason behind how you are feeling in a specific way, so instead of ignoring your feelings and keeping them inside with the hope that things will improve with time, it is best to let your mom know about your emotions and feelings and be assertive about it so you can have effective communication and can improve your relations with your mom. You just need your mom to understand your feelings so do not be aggressive and be calm while telling her about your feelings unless your mom goes on the defensive because of your tone and attitude of conveying your emotions. This can be hard at times and help from a therapist can be taken to further better the communication between you and your mom and to enhance the flow of emotions to understand each other.

My Mom Hates Me: Violence and Abuse

There might be some reasons that your mom verbally abuses you and keeps saying to you constantly that she hates you on a regular basis then you need to talk with someone, maybe your teacher about it and inform them about this abusive behavior. Talk to your school counselor or your teacher and let them know exactly what you are going through at home. It is also important to remind yourself that this behavior is not your fault and you are not responsible for it, there might be some internal issues that your mom is dealing with and she is unable to handle them so it is for her best interest to get outside help regarding it. This does not entitle a parent to abuse their child irrespective of the cause and the school will also help find someone that can talk with your mom and get things straightened out which will not get your mom into trouble but will ease up things for you. Try to understand the reason behind your thought i.e. Why does my Mom hates Me.

Why does my Mom Hate Me (Reasons)

Ways to Cope

If you always think about how your mom hates you, or she does not like you, the emotional turmoil from this thinking might end up being too intense for you. There can be something that can help you out during this process  Try to understand the reason behind your thought i.e. Why does my Mom hates Me.:

Take deep breathing while you feel upset and stop thinking about anything. Deep breathing can help you relax and lower your anxiety and it can also improve your cognitive functions. Whenever you feel overwhelmed or upset, try taking in some deep breaths which can make you feel better. Try to understand the reason behind your thought i.e. Why does my Mom hates Me.

Another thing that can help you out is taking a break from your normal routine. Just take a stroll around the neighborhood, relax your mind so you can ponder over the events which will result in giving you more clarity. This will help you to relax and come back to deal with the situation with a more clear mind. Try to understand the reason behind your thought i.e. Why does my Mom hates Me.

Another thing that can help you out is getting a new and different perspective from someone else. There might be chances that when you are too close to the problem you might miss up on some things which can often be seen with the help of other people. So seeking help from counselors or licensed therapists can also further help you out during this process. Try to understand the reason behind your thought i.e. Why does my Mom hates Me.

Why does my mom hate me that much?

There might be multiple reasons for it which can be because your mom is busy or there is a chance that she expresses her love for you in a way that you cannot understand or see.

What are signs you can interpret as your mother doesn’t love you?

There may be some signs which you can interpret as your mother does not love you. Some of these signs are :

  • Your mom cares about your siblings more than you
  • She is critical of your approach
  • You think she is ignoring you.

References

Mary Elizabeth Dean (2020): What Do You Do When You Think – My Mom Hates Me?

Gabrielle Moss (2015):  6 Signs You Have A Toxic Mother

Why does my Mom Hate Me (Reasons)

Juanita Agboola

Juanita Agboola is the editor in chief of HFNE and an expert in mental health online. She has been writing about online behaviour, mental health and psychology issues since 2012. All Guides are reviewed by our editorial team which constitutes various clinical psychologists, PhD and PsyD colleagues.