One of the significant milestones in the life of a person is getting married. Generally family and marriage therapists provide specialized therapy to people named premarital counseling. The idea of premarital counseling is widely known to be beneficial for couples who want to make longer-term commitments with each other usually in the form of marriage. The primary objective of premarital counseling is the identification of the areas of potential conflicts and addressing those conflicts in a relationship before these conflicts rise to be potential threats for their relationship. Premarital counseling teaches couples efficient ways to discuss and resolve their conflicts. Those couples who are looking to get counseling before getting married might come to know that premarital counseling can be helpful for them to understand their anticipations related to getting married and to address potential conflicts in a safer and comfortable space. In this article, we will discuss premarital counseling.
Premarital counseling and its benefits might not have hit the mind of someone before he has decided to get married. When the date of marriage is coming near a person might start to be wondering about how proactive premarital counseling can give strength to his relationship with his future wife. Going to a third party and having that party consulted on some general issues such as raising the kids, how to deal with extended family, coping mechanisms for secular partners, and many more benefits can be attained through premarital counseling.
One may be wondering that going to the specialist for premarital counseling can be a step one should take as the day of marriage is drawing nearer. It is normal to think this way. Indulging in uncertainties is the primary reason why people tend to go to a therapist or a premarital counseling expert to seek help. As there is nothing as such a perfect union, premarital counseling might be helpful for a person and his partner in addressing the problems which are commonly found in married couples.
It is widely believed by many people that going to a counselor is only valid for those individuals who are already struggling with the challenges in their lives. This is not right in all cases. To get engaged with premarital will be helpful for a person and his partner in learning to recognize the problems and resolve conflicts that are likely to be originating somewhere in the marital life.
Those couples who are at the engagement stage of their marriages are recommended to get premarital counseling. This type of therapy is a kind of family counseling which has been planned for helping the partners to stay attached when they face some conflicts or crisis. Premarital counseling enables the couples who are about to get married to the strategies to resolve their conflicts such as ensuring that both persons make a consensus in times of emergency i.e. when they face financial troubles. The objective behind providing these counseling strategies is to make sure that couples do not get engaged in demonstrating negative behaviors which are likely to lead them towards parting their ways.
Here are some of the examples of a few subjects which come under discussion during premarital therapy sessions.
- Individual and Joint Finances
- Parenting styles
- Communication styles
- Conflict resolution strategies
- Decision-making styles
- Gender roles in the marriage
- Family therapy
Keys to a Healthy Marriage
It had been reported through stats that couples of modern days do not kame plans about getting divorced. Actually, the majority of the people in the United States believe that the most significant goal of life is to lead a happier and healthier marital life. But, everyone knows that some couples might have gone through the crucial phase of getting divorced. Though most of the spouses start their relationships with positive intents the reality is that sometimes there are unexpected challenges that may come across in life. There is a possibility that one of the partners has to move from one place to another place for work commitments and the other one begins to realize that they did not have faith in each other the way they thought. The possibilities of challenges are countless which can come across in the life of couples. But my participation in premarital counseling sessions or family therapies may be helpful for a person to achieve objectives related to long-lasting relationships and fulfilling partnerships.
It has been revealed by the research that whenever the spouses have attended the counseling sessions it has increased their chances of leading a fulfilling and successful marital life by thirty percent. Premarital counseling is a tool that makes people mentally prepared to get married.
Maintaining a healthier relationship actively is the most beneficent thing a couple can ever wish for to make sure that their marital life lasts longer and to guard their psychological wellbeing as well. It has been above mentioned that premarital counseling with an expert can be helpful for people who have developed a habit to argue with each other over minor issues related to financial conditions and household chores. Before marriage it will be to attend premarital counseling services in order to recognize the possible weaknesses of a relationship that can cause the issues or can lead a marriage toward failure.
Premarital Counseling Styles
There are various types of premarital counseling types in which a persona or a couple can take part depending on their religious background and the reasons for seeking mental health before getting married. Getting to know about the suitable type of counseling for each other can make a significant contribution to the effectiveness of the counseling and the benefits one attain out of it.
Religious Premarital Counseling
There are various religious institutes that have a requirement in place for the couples to be the part of counseling session before starting the ceremony of marriage. If someone has a plan to get married at a religious place he must make sure that he had checked the requirements of the worship place. Premarital counseling based on religion can be the blend of various methods, including group course, one to one meeting with a religious advisor, or compatibility test.
Online Premarital Counseling Courses
If a couple is willing to have a more confidential and private experience they can check for the online therapy sessions which can be helpful for them to get closer to attaining their objectives of a happier and healthier marital life. The time span of the online therapy sessions is not more than a half-day and it will be helpful in aiding the conversation between both partners. When a couple participates online in therapy sessions of premarital counseling he will get thorough information about the ways of anticipation and positively responding to the issues which might arise in the marital life. Most online services providers also give the couple a certificate of completion when they have finished their course which will be serving the purpose of a reminder to stay committed and fight the battles of life together.
One-one-one Professional Counseling
One of the most convenient ways of providing premarital counseling is a one-on-one method. This method is a way through which mental health experts are providing the people with much-needed help and support which is required to them to build the stronger foundations of their relationships for years to come. The purpose of premarital counseling is to provide couples with a mechanism to effectively encounter the commonly faced issues in the long run of commitments. The minor conflicts related to the selection of the food and drink or daily affairs of the house are significant contributors to the problem of life after marriage if they are not been given due care. While going to attend the sessions with a counselor, it is obvious that the information related to the counseling sessions are kept under strict confidentiality. This secrecy provides a guarantee even when a couple gets engaged in an online therapy session.
Compatibility Tests or Questionnaires
The purpose of designing personality tests is to find the areas where people have already built stronger foundations of communication and respect. These questionnaires and tests serve the purpose of identifying those regions which have the capability to pose potential threats in a relationship once a couple has married officially. These questionnaires and tests are not designed to get passed or failed. The purpose of using these tests and questionnaires must be utilized to aid the growth of individuals and abilities to offer appropriate support to each other before and after marital life.
Group Courses and Discussion
Most of the people do not find it reliable on group counseling for the preparation of their marriages but it may prove to be beneficial having group counseling and engaging with the engaged people and married people in order to grab different opinions and ideas. A couple can get benefit through group counseling by learning new strategies of conflict resolution they might not have focused on without the guidance of an expert mental health professional.
Benefits of Premarital Counseling
The following are the potential benefits of premarital counseling.
Create mutual goals and resolutions for your marriage
Most of the couples might have the difference of opinion over the idea of what actually means to have achieved the goals of a happier and healthier marital life. By having a prior conversation about what a couple expects to get out of their marital life they can get to know the resolution which combines what they both want. This will give them common objectives for working towards what they both believe in.
Understand, adapt to, and improve communication styles
Yes this is quietly a spoonful. But what it boils down to is that couples will be able to understand their strength and weak areas better of them and their communication style. This is helpful for them in knowing to adjust to them to make sure that they are capable of talking successfully about their conflicts rather than just relying on to ignore those problems and argue about them.
Dismiss marriage anxiety
For a person who loves his partner no matter to what extent, giving a thought to get committed for a life long term can cause a kind of anxiety. If a person in a relationship is going through the anxiety of getting married then premarital counseling can be a significant choice for them. In a counseling session a person can oppose the probable reasons for anxiety and can work on those causes. Confronting those issues with an open heart and mind one gets assured that getting married is the next positive step in a relationship.
FAQs about Premarital counseling
Q1. What does premarital counseling do?
Premarital counseling is a specialized type of therapy that helps couples prepare for marriage. Premarital counseling can help couples of any gender, race, or religion identify and address potential areas of conflict in their relationship.
Q2. When should you start premarital counseling?
Most couples think they should start premarital counseling two or three weeks to their marriage. But, this sort of mentality should not be encouraged. Pre-wedding counseling should be started as soon as possible.
Q3. Is premarital counseling effective?
Researchers have discovered that it is a helpful way to improve your communication and conflict management skills while increasing your overall relationship quality and satisfaction.
Goodtherapy.org (n.d.): “Premarital Counselling”
Stephanie Kirby (2020): “Premarital Counseling: What It Is And Why You Should Do It?