How to not be nervous hanging out with a guy? (Tips)

In this guide, we will discuss “How to not be nervous hanging out with a guy” and a few useful tips on how to cope with the nerves when you are around a guy you truly like or feel very comfortable with.

How to not be nervous hanging out with a guy?

If you wonder ‘How to not be nervous hanging out with a guy?’ then, chances are you like the guy or enjoy their company but we don’t know what to say to them or we get tongue-tied. This will only increase our anxiety to the maximum level but here are some tips that will help you when you feel speechless in even the most nerve-wracking situations:

Sometimes I feel stupid because I don’t have anything to say

We understand you’d like to have a lot of interesting factors and clever comments to impress your guy but this is not a requirement. You don’t need to have a bunch of smart things to say all the time, besides, it is exhausting and it is not something that comes naturally to you (unless it does).

Moreover, remember you are not ‘stupid’ just nervous and it is completely normal. Just listen to what they are saying and casually make questions. If you seem genuinely interested your guy will notice and the more you let them talk, the pressure will be off you. 

I don’t feel like the prettiest girl or meet his standards

You don’t have to be the prettiest girl in the room to get the guy but nothing is stopping you from feeling like it. Sometimes we think they will never really notice we are nervous around them because we like them and more in a romantic way than just friends.

We often wonder, how to know if he likes you, if he finds you pretty or girlfriend material. You may think you are not up to his standards but sometimes we are just too hard on ourselves and we think we are not good enough.

Make the first move, be confident

Ok, we get it. We live in a society where guys are expected to make the first move. This is why many of us consider how ‘If he wanted to talk to me he would’. We don’t know what is going through his head and he could be just as nervous as you are. If you feel comfortable hanging out with him, show it, be confident and more importantly, be yourself.

Approaching a guy and making the first move is not easy but once you decide you’ll do it and throw yourself out there will prevent you from overthinking and not doing it. Moreover, if he agrees to hang out and asks ‘where do you want to go’, take the initiative and propose a place, don’t simply say ‘I don’t know, you chose’ or ‘I don’t care, whatever’. 

How to not be nervous hanging out with a guy? (Tips)

Breathe!

It seems simple and obvious but when we are nervous we forget how to breathe properly. Our breathing pattern becomes superficial and our body prepared to fight or flight the scene. This is why it is important to consciously remember what is happening and why so you can take some slow and deep breaths to calm yourself down. Just simply breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Put one hand on top of your belly and as you let the air in through your nose, feel how your stomach inflates like a balloon. When you let the air out, feel like it deflates and repeats this process a few more times until you start feeling relaxed and calm.

Concentrate on him

Try to put all your efforts into concentrating on him. This will help you keep the focus on what is going outside than inside. Pay attention to what he is saying and how he behaves around you, empty your mind from everything else. 

Just as indicated by Wikihow.com, “The goal is to quiet any thoughts that don’t have anything to do with the immediate conversation. Just think about what you’re going to say in response to what he says, not how you feel inside.” For example,  if he asks you a question about the type of music you like, there is nothing wrong with being honest and telling the truth about your taste in music. 

We tend to think ‘oh, what if he doesn’t like the type of music I like’ so we try to think there is a right answer and we overthink it before saying it out loud. No need to do this, if you are just pretending to like his music, he will eventually find out.

Keep moving

If you feel too nervous when hanging out with a guy and you still don’t feel comfortable spending time while sitting at a restaurant or the movies then suggest going for a walk or sitting at a park. Moving around a little bit may help you release stress.

If you are going to keep the conversation mobile while you get to feel more comfortable around the guy then make sure to wear comfortable clothes. No need to overdress to impress, the more natural you look the better.

I will feel awful if he rejects me 

We get it, no one likes to be rejected. However, let’s change the word rejection for ‘not interested’. It is not about not being pretty enough, interesting, fun, smart, etc. We need to be conscious that not everyone will like us the same way we like them, that is a fact. But how we decide to handle it will make the difference.

Moreover, sometimes we think about not letting someone know our feelings towards them for fear of rejection but some people are left wondering ‘What if I did express my feelings when I had the chance?’. What if’s are just horrible and will make us feel extremely anxious, where eventually can even lead to depression.

Acting interested

There is nothing wrong with acting interested but try not to get over-excited since many guys don’t like it. However, if you pretend to be uninterested or bored then he will certainly get bored when he is around you and you will be left wondering, why he never called back. Showing just the right amount of interest will also keep him interested but remember to just be yourself around him.  

Also, we may feel they are acting uninterested but we need to learn how to read the context. For instance, we may think he doesn’t like hanging out with us when chances are he is not listening to us because they are worrying too much about how they may sound or act around us, so give them a chance.

Why is this blog about How to not be nervous hanging out with a guy important?

As we have discussed, being nervous hanging out with a guy is completely normal especially if it is a guy you like. However, sometimes we let anxiety control how we behave around others and just the thought of making a mistake can prevent us from doing something we would want to like inviting someone out. 

Moreover, we talked about some useful tips on how not to be nervous when hanging out with a guy such as feeling stupid because you don’t have anything to say. It is OK if you run out of topics, to avoid the awkward silence ask him questions, this will take the focus off you and if you show genuine interest he will keep the conversation flowing. Finally, remember you don’t have to be the prettiest girl in the world, but you most certainly are allowed to feel like it. It is a matter of attitude and your personality, not everything is about the way someone looks.

Please feel free to leave any comments or thoughts about the content of this article!

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) about How to not be nervous hanging out with a guy

What does it mean when you’re nervous around a guy?

If you feel nervous around a guy, it may mean that you like the guy. Moreover, feeling nervous is the way our mind tells us someone means a lot to us or is someone we consider special. Even if we feel nervous around them, we may feel like having them around, even more, we may want to keep them around and feel like we need to protect them.

How do I calm my nerves before seeing someone?

If you want to calm your nerves before seeing someone, it may be that you feel nervous about what you will say to them or how you will act around them. However, try visualizing in your mind being around them and having a conversation. Visualization can help you become more confident and prepared when you meet with your special someone. Moreover, you can do some light exercise to help release stress or it is also helpful to write down some of the thoughts you have so you can contrast them with reality. 

Is it bad to not be nervous around your crush?

It is not bad to not be nervous around your crush. You may even feel very comfortable and confident around them because you have probably built a friendship based on trust between you two. However, some people may relate not being nervous with not liking the person, evaluate how you feel when you are with them and if you truly like them or just enjoy spending time with them.

Is it normal to be nervous around someone you like?

It is completely normal to be nervous around someone you like. When you like someone, you start to care for them so nervous excitement is expected. However, if you still feel nervous after dating for a while then this could be a red flag and professional advice may be needed.

Is being shy a weakness?

Being shy is not a weakness, it is just a personality trait even if people who are socially anxious and those who consider themselves shy see it as a weakness. However, it may not be as bad after all since they may have other strengths such as reading people or analyzing their behaviour.

References 

Wikihow.com: “How to Calm Your Nerves Around the Guy You Like”

Wikihow.com: “How to Keep Confident When Hanging Around Boys”

How to not be nervous hanging out with a guy? (Tips)

Juanita Agboola

Juanita Agboola is the editor in chief of HFNE and an expert in mental health online. She has been writing about online behavior, mental health and psychology issues since 2012. All Guides are reviewed by our editorial team which constitutes various clinical psychologists, PhD and PsyD colleagues.