Non-platonic love (A complete guide)

Non-platonic love

In this blog post, we clarify what is the difference between non-platonic and platonic love.

We also discuss the transition from a friendship to a love relationship.

What is non-platonic love?

Non-platonic love is the exact opposite of platonic love, therefore the non-platonic relationship is a romantic or sexual relationship.

Love is certainly the strongest eternal feeling known to humans. Kingdoms have grown and civilizations have crumbled in its name, while humanity cannot stop it from existing.

Unfortunately, love is also the most repressed of human feelings.

Society has raised these rigid standards of what is acceptable and unacceptable for which we tend to give in happily.

Romantic love, or non-platonic love, is a necessity inscribed in our eyelashes, in our brain, based on the natural impulse to turn to someone means to us, in order to seek an authentic, deep closeness, and a sense of connection and security.

At the unconscious level, we know that this type of intimate connection is the most accessible way to achieve extraordinary states of ecstasy, fulfilment and strong energy to move forward and evolve.

Therefore, perhaps without realizing it, we are in a continuous search for love and we give great importance to love relationships.

Anthropology tells us that romantic love was formed, from archaic times, as a survival instinct, which helped us in perpetuating the species, instinctively orienting us to find a partner with whom to form a team and thus better resist adversity and dangers, protecting each other.

Non-platonic love (A complete guide)

Beyond its seemingly fanciful character, you easily recognize within yourself, through all the sensations, emotions and insights you experience when you fall in love and love simultaneously with passion, admiration and depth, that nothing compares to this kind of love that offers us something special and miraculous, a special vivacity that makes our life take on an attractive meaning.

You need to know that non-platonic love, which attracts your whole being and ignites you and puts you in a state of ecstasy, mystery and fearlessness, is real.

And you have to be able to enjoy it as much as possible.

If your partner is not ready to be in a non-platonic love, you should then exercise Sexual transmutation.

What do we mean by “romantic love”?

Romantic love is a special type of love, in which the spiritual and the erotic are intertwined, and which is fueled by our innate need for union, fusion, deep intimate connection.

Red roses, chocolate hearts, butterflies in the stomach, romantic dinners, Valentine’s day -are these the descriptors of modern romantic love?

Most of the time, romantic love is associated with the idea of fantasy, story, a rather short-lived idealization, which makes our life more beautiful and effervescent.

But which, unfortunately, precisely because it feeds from the realm of the imaginary is considered unstable, unreal, deceptive.

In today’s context, based on consumption and speed, haste and superficiality, we have learned to draw under the umbrella of these “values” our relationships too. But romantic relationships require a different pace, slower, deeper.

Thus, the current romantic love tends to borrow qualities from the same register, becoming rather superficial, ephemeral, like a spark that burns brightly for just a moment, a fast-food love.

A love for which we have no time but to consume its thrills, as soon as possible. A frugal love that temporarily satisfies our hunger.

A flattering love, from which we try not to have too high expectations, because we have trained to look at it and accept it that way.

Romantic love delights us with its magic, but it doesn’t seem so serious and real to us. Why?

Because it has come to be exposed and fully exploited. Why? Because it sells.

Movies, commercials, books, music, products.

In all of them, there is an appeal and that emotion of delight, of ecstasy, coming from the fulfilment of the fundamental need to be seen, chosen, desired by someone that you also cherish.

Non-platonic love (A complete guide)

But romantic love is not an illusion, a hoax, even if it is so showcased and banal.

For the emotion and the need on which it is based are real and deeply imprinted in our soul and neuro-biology.

Romantic love involves a connection full of passion between two people, but one that takes place simultaneously on the emotional, sexual and spiritual levels, and which can not miss some extremely important elements: appreciation, curiosity and interest in the other person.

We cannot consider a love relationship non-platonic if the relationship is not experienced as passionate or intense, at least to a certain degree;  if there is no spiritual affinity between the two partners, a similarity between values and points of view if not there is a deep emotional involvement, a strong sexual attraction and a mutual admiration.

Romantic love is a special type of love, in which the emotions, the spiritual and the erotic are intertwined, and which is fueled by our innate need for union, fusion, deep intimate connection.

And, following the latest research in neurophysiology, it began to be considered even as a vital instinct developed for millennia, which has the ability to activate and energize our entire psycho-biological system.

But what is platonic love?

This type of love gives more importance to the spirit than to sensuality.

Theoretically speaking, this is the purest form of love, being devoid of sexuality.

Of course, the idea that sex is the one that makes love less pure does not delight anyone.

But here we are talking about the love discussed so passionately by Plato in his dialogues.

According to the philosopher, this love is expressed intellectually, not physically.

Stronger than material beauty is the spiritual one: the beauty of ideas, of feelings.

For Plato, love is neither beautiful nor good, but it is the thirst for beauty and goodness.

It is a chaste but passionate love. In general, we say about a love that it is platonic when we know that it cannot be consumed, that it cannot materialize.

Almost every one of us knows, sooner or later, platonic love. 

Non-platonic love (A complete guide)

The difference between platonic love and friendship

Love is a feeling of attachment to a special person. It is expressed through actions, emotional gestures and a strong connection between people.

There are different types of love and they classify any relationship. 

For example, a mother and a daughter have family love, partners have romantic love. The love between friends is platonic love.

Platonic describes a purely spiritual relationship that is not physically consumed.

If a boy and a girl spend a lot of time together but don’t consume their love, this friendship is platonic.

Do you think of your friend romantically or erotically? Feelings like this suggest that it might be a non-platonic love.

If you don’t have strong feelings and you just like to spend time with him then this is just a platonic love.

One of the most common confusions among people is to make a mistake in their affection for a friend, considering that it is deep love.

Whether it is conscious or unconscious, it is very simple to make mistakes and confuse the feeling of friendship with the feeling of love.

It is perfectly normal for people to experience intense feelings for those they care about without being a romantic love.

Likewise, non-platonic or platonic love creates a strong attachment between people. 

When you give your heart and trust to someone, you expect to be treated with a level of attention, kindness and loyalty.

It’s about mutual respect to avoid certain things. If it is a platonic relationship, there is no commitment, no family, no pets, no finances, but just a simple friendship.

If your partner feels comfortable with the idea of being together without expectations then this is how the platonic relationship works.

Non-platonic love (A complete guide)

From platonic to non-platonic relationships

When you have a friend that you have known for a lifetime and who comes one day to tell you that he/she wants to take your friendship to another level, what do you think is better: to accept or to make it clear that it is a pity to ruin such an old friendship, given that it is not known if a love affair between you will have the same chances of success as the friendship had? 

Of course, there are situations and situations, which are related to the distance between the two in terms of geography, age, education, social or material status and many others, over which a friendly relationship is, perhaps, easier to pass than in a love affair.

It is very difficult to make a decision and, obviously, each case must be thought of in its own way.

In addition, you must take into account the fact that refusal, for example, will be received in a certain way by your shy friend, whom you know could be hurt very easily. Either way, it’s not an easy decision.

Of course, if you are so lucky to have another friend to whom you can confess, you can look for an answer, a solution… but the final decision should be yours!

On the other hand, there are many advantages.

All the knowledge you have about that person can help you not to make mistakes that would bother them.

In addition, if you have been friends for so many years … you are best friends, you have listened to the same music, you have gone to the same shows, you have chosen the same holiday destinations, it is clear that you are on the same wavelength and you are just great together.

If you love, nothing can stop you from having a beautiful relationship, whether the man/woman in your life is your best friend, whom you have known for a century, or whether it is love at first sight.

Non-platonic love (A complete guide)

Conclusions

In this blog post, we clarified what the difference is between non-platonic and platonic love.

Now we see that non-platonic love refers to romantic and erotic love, which is usually between two partners.

Platonic love, on the other hand, is pure love, the love between two friends who simply enjoy the presence of the other.

We also discussed the transition from a friendship to a love relationship, what are the consequences and advantages.

Please feel free to leave any comments or let us know if you have any questions about non-platonic and platonic love.

FAQ about non-platonic love

What is non-platonic love?

Non-platonic love is romantic and erotic love. Is the love between two people who are sexually attracted to each other. 

What is a platonic girlfriend?

Platonic love is pure love, the love between two friends who simply enjoy the presence of the other.

There is no sexual desire between these two people.

Is kissing platonic?

No, kissing is not platonic love. Platonic love is pure love, the love between two friends who simply enjoy the presence of the other.

Kissing usually implies a sexual attraction to the other person.

Can platonic friends fall in love?

It is possible for platonic friends to fall in love.

Your friend is the person who listens to you, supports you no matter what.

It is easy and common to start having deeper feelings for a good friend.

Are all friendships platonic?

Pure, honest friendships can be platonic.

As long as there is no sexual attraction and desire between the two, their friendship is purely platonic.

Is platonic love real?

Yes, platonic love is real.

Platonic relationships often occur within the same gender, but heterosexual platonic love is common too.

Recommendations

  1. Focus On: Philosophy of Love: Marriage, Dating, Attachment Theory, Agape, Happiness, Platonic Love, Romance (love), Limerence, Unrequited Love, Red thread of Fate, etc. 
  2. Hard to Love: Essays and Confessions
  3. PLATONIC LOVE: From hate to love to disappointment.
  4. Platonic Love 
  5. I Think I Am in Friend-Love with You 
  6. Platonic Love: Fact or Fantasy 

References

The Psychology of Romantic Love: Romantic Love in an Anti-Romantic Age, by Nathaniel Branden 

On Romantic Love: Simple Truths about a Complex Emotion (Philosophy in Action) 1st Edition, by Berit Brogaard

Non-platonic love (A complete guide)

Nadejda Romanciuc

Nadejda Romanciuc holds a Bachelor’s degree in psychology and a diploma in Addiction studies. She is part of the Romanian Association of Integrative Psychotherapy as a psychotherapist under supervision. She's practicing online counselling for over two years and is a strong advocate for mental health.