Is he trying to get me pregnant on purpose?

Is he trying to get me pregnant on purpose?

In this article, we will answer the following question: Is he trying to get me pregnant on purpose? We will offer you a short guide to talk with your partner about a possible pregnancy, and also about the differences in the couple. 

Is he trying to get me pregnant on purpose?

In order to answer this question, we must clarify some things first. If you believe that your boyfriend/partner is trying to get you pregnant it means that you two were obviously having sex. Sex can result in pregnancy. Using birth control reduces the risk of pregnancy, but it is not 100% effective, although some are highly effective.

So, how could he deliberately get you pregnant? Either one or both of you are using birth control. With guys, that is a condom and both parties are aware that he has a condom on. If you were expecting him to wear one and he didn’t, your situational awareness was pretty low.

Is he trying to get me pregnant on purpose?

What do you mean “how do I know?” Are you on the pill? Or have an IUD? Does he wear a condom? Every single time? The entire time? If not, you’re trying to get pregnant. It’s your body. Be responsible. Say no to unprotected sex. 

Condoms alone aren’t that effective even if used properly, and hardly anyone uses them properly, so make sure you are using a method with a high effectiveness rate as well, like the pill, that YOU are in charge of taking. Also, be in charge of ensuring the condom is on properly before you have sex. 

To be blunter, it can happen that he insists on being intimate without birth control, trying to have “sudden” sex and saying using protection would “spoil the moment.” There are unscrupulous men who will even poke holes in their condoms or slip them off during sex. If you don’t trust him why are you still having sex with him? This type of person doesn’t care for you and probably won’t care for his child either.

If a man sends pictures of his daughter, then you might think he is indicating towards you getting pregnant with him.

In one of our blogs we’ve discussed about 5 undeniable signs he wants to get you pregnant, so you’re aware of whats coming for you.

Guide to talk to your partner before a pregnancy

The decision to have children cannot be taken lightly: it requires an open conversation with your partner about the times when they want to start a family.

Few are the people who open the topic with the couple about whether or not they want to have children, how many and when. A serious mistake, they consider specialists in psychology, because planning affects the well-being of the relationship and the investment that is made in the family in the future.

Not talking about the issue of children is a gigantic mistake, when you fall in love, you pay attention to everything but this sharing of goals and expectations about motherhood and fatherhood. Couples are formed based on the myth that love transforms everything, that you have to follow a script, that everyone is going to want to be a father or mother, and it may not be a goal for either of them.

Is he trying to get me pregnant on purpose?

There are few brave people who dedicate themselves to speaking it, they avoid a premature separation if they have opposite points of view or do not know how to negotiate.

For each member of the couple to reflect on it and present it with the couple is part of family planning, together they could choose the contraceptive method according to their circumstances. This, the psychologists agree, would be the ideal scenario.

Generally, there are two types of couples: those who take the pregnancy by surprise and improvise the solution to assume it, and those who wait for the ideal moment to have a child.

Although biologically the age recommended by doctors for women to be mothers ranges from 25 to 35 years, it is now possible to extend it beyond 40 with the support of reproduction experts.

Among couples who postpone the arrival of a child, it would be important to understand that there is no “ideal time”, but that it can be when both are clear that they want to be a father and mother, and, “emotionally, to be willing to share time and space”.

The impact of the decision is such that there are data that family planning affects the quality of life of children.

Something fundamental that does not have to do with age is that couples have had enough time to get to know each other and identify how their relationship is, because sometimes children believe that they arrive to fill the gap, space or absence that is it occurs in the couple relationship or is used as an extreme action to attract the couple’s attention. 

Is he trying to get me pregnant on purpose?

Couple differences

A common cause of disagreement is when the woman prefers to delay maternity to carry out professional projects and her partner thinks that once married, what follows is having children; or that she thinks they are getting married to have children and he prefers to wait.

A child is neither a positive nor a negative thing. We don’t know why we have children. Many people have children without having wanted them; We desire many others, but we cannot have them.

On the other hand, do we know how our desire has arisen? Is there something specific that we can explain to our partner?

Even understanding the origins of our desire, is that enough for our partner to join them or feel the same as we do?

Just as women cannot explain why or why we want to father a child, it is common for men to fail to explain why they do not want to know anything about the matter.

They just find it awkward and far away, and they don’t understand why they should be dealing with a topic that doesn’t interest them at all.

Perhaps it is useful to recognize that so many thoughts and discussions, so many evaluations and arguments, do not usually facilitate pregnancies.

Is he trying to get me pregnant on purpose?

On the contrary, the activity that most enables a pregnancy to appear is satisfactory, pleasant, orgasmic, recurrent and happy sexual relations. Is it a no-brainer? Unfortunately not.

Lots of couples in crisis, with fights, misunderstandings and anger, have disagreements and incompatibility of desires as their main reason for complaint … they consume a lot of energy that is not dedicated to devoted and loving sexual contact.

When women are identified with intellectual and rational activities, we tend to have less training in emotional surrender. That usually plays against pregnancies.

On the other hand, the more discussion there is around these issues –and, at the same time, the less sex– the possibility of “reaching agreements” becomes more complicated.

Perhaps because fathering children does not have so much to do with conscious agreements, but rather with sensory and bodily compatibilities that make us both vibrate in mysterious harmony.

The desire for children may not be something we can discuss or defend. It just happens. Or not.

If love and respect are mutual and there is happiness in the couple, what is important for one can become a priority for the other.

Either way, when we desperately want to father a child, the best way to achieve this will be to deepen the bond of love with our partner.

If love is daily, palpable, if there is mutual respect, if we are together because we want to contribute to our partner having a pleasant and happy life and our partner wants the same for us, if we are pending the well-being of the other and we are capable of generating In him the same feelings towards us, it is possible that everything that is important to one of the members of the couple automatically becomes a priority for the other.

Is he trying to get me pregnant on purpose?

Conclusions

In this article, we answered the following question: Is he trying to get me pregnant on purpose? We offered you a short guide to talk with your partner about a possible pregnancy, and also about the differences in the couple. 

Unless we speak about non-consensual sex, the intimate act between you and your partner is conscious. Thus, you should be aware if he is trying to get you pregnant. You should use a birth control method if you are not prepared to have a child. 

Condoms alone aren’t that effective even if used properly, and hardly anyone uses them properly, so make sure you are using a method with a high effectiveness rate as well, like the pill, that YOU are in charge of taking. Also, be in charge of ensuring the condom is on properly before you have sex. 

If you have any questions or comments about this topic, please let us know.

References

Raisingchildren.net.au – Parent communication: tips for talking with your partner

Insider.com – 5 tips for talking to your partner about having kids without terrifying them

Wikihow.com – How to Talk to Your Spouse About Having Children

Is he trying to get me pregnant on purpose?

Nadejda Romanciuc

Nadejda Romanciuc holds a Bachelor’s degree in psychology and a diploma in Addiction studies. She is part of the Romanian Association of Integrative Psychotherapy as a psychotherapist under supervision. She's practicing online counselling for over two years and is a strong advocate for mental health.