I want to get better but I don’t know how (9 Tips)

In this brief guide, we will discuss what to do when you want to get better but do not know how to do so, and ways to become a better person.

I want to get better!

If you want to get better you can start by analyzing who you are and what parts of your life or personality you want to improve, after you have identified your problem areas it becomes incredibly easy to become a better person.

If you want to get better in terms of depression or anxiety, try to seek professional help, and if you don’t have the resources for that, you can also look at online services that may be more usable for you.

Why do you want to get better?

Figuring out why you want to get better is the first step to getting better.

When you start feeling that you want to get better, you need to first make a list of all the things you think you want to get better at, like do you want to get better because you have depression or other mental health issues; or do you just want to become a better person?

You may also want to get better at a specific thing, or activity, and maybe you lack the determination or do not know where to start.

The fact is, just wanting to get better in itself is a step most people don’t take, and you have taken it, so that alone puts you ahead to start with.

How to get better at something?

If you want to get better at a certain activity or thing, you need to have discipline and determination, and a drive to follow the plans you make.

If you want to get better at playing an instrument or studying, there will be no short cuts, and you need to be mentally prepared for that.

The first thing to do to get better at something is to look at where you are currently at what resources you are going to need to get better.

If it is a musical instrument for instance, that you want to get better at, look for classes around you or find instructional videos on youtube, or find forums online where learners discuss tips and tricks and what worked for them.

You will not get better at something until you reach out and cast a wide net to gather information.

I want to get better from depression

If you want to get better from depression and are not able to seek professional help, you can still do it by talking to loved ones and trying to become more active in your day to day life.

These are some of the symptoms of depression:

·       Lack of Pleasure

·       Consistent low mood

·       Hopelessness

·       Feelings of low self-worth

·       Appetite loss or too much appetite

·       Sleeping too much or too little

·       Loss of motivation

·       Being tired without reason

·       Random aches and pains

To get better from depression you can tackle some of these symptoms on your own.

Here are some tips you can try to get better from depression:

·       Try to do one new thing every day, this can get you moving when you don’t want to

·       Clean your room, organize your life

·       Try to get some sunlight or be out in nature

·       Try to work with colors, paint or draw even if you are not good at it

·       Force yourself to bathe and take care of yourself in some way every single way

·       Talk to your loved ones, especially if you live by yourself

·       Read funny jokes, practice smiling. The act of moving your facial muscles into a smile can induce a better mood on occasion.

What if you don’t really want to get better?

If you want to know whether or not you really want to get better, the first thing you do is ask yourself if you have really tried everything you could, and if you are truly willing to do everything a professional or a trusted loved one might tell you.

Sometimes, psychotherapy clients say they want relief from their symptoms of depression, anxiety, or various other painful emotions.

However, sometimes our subconscious defenses keep getting in the way of their efforts to develop and overcome their psychological maladies.

It has been theorized that even if they say they want to get better, most people are actually afraid of change in their identity, whether it is positive or negative.

When someone wants to get better, they may at times have a negative self-conception that eventually leads to feelings of tension or discomfort.

When there are strong feelings of conflict with the self-identity and efforts to get better, breaks in any aspect of this self-concept leads to an increased state of anxiety.

This powerful defense can cause a feeling of dread, and this may ruin the efforts to get better.

To make sure your efforts to get better do not stop due to your subconscious, it is valuable for you to face that some part of you may not want to get better and that you may have to start with smaller steps rather than a radical change overnight.

For instance, if you want to get better from depression trying something huge like taking on a big project that makes you work too hard, can be anxiety-provoking after 2 days.

Instead, try a little thing like one single class, or a small goal that can be achieved in a day.

Smaller steps will benefit you more if you are dealing with more permanent patterns.

I want to get better but I don’t know how (9 Tips)

Wanting to get better for someone else

If you want to get better for someone else you will still have to work on yourself alone, other people can help, but they can still only help so much, and while you may want to get better for someone else, you need to figure out if that change benefits you as well.

A very famous Bojack Horseman quote says: “I wanted to be better when you saw me again. and I thought I could be, somehow. but I am not. and even if I did get better, the best I could ever be is still some other version of me.”

This exhibits the problem with wanting to get better for someone else, that is, still feeling like you are not enough.

Say you get better from depression because you want to make your partner happy, while this is a great thing, what if after you get better your partner still is not happy with you?

Basing your self-concept on someone else is just as problematic as not wanting to get better at all or not knowing that you need to get better.

The true reason for wanting to get better must always be growth and betterment for yourself. Loving yourself and wanting to be a better person is the best and only reason you should care about it.

Wanting to get better must be focused inward, not outward, and while it would be great for others around you as well if you get better, it should never be the driving force behind your decision.

Ways to get better

Ways to get better include seeking professional help, like psychotherapy, mediation, working on new things, trying to learn a new craft or skill, and being kind to people.

Here are some more tips to get better:

  • Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness is a realistic, proven way to achieve the kind of meditation that doesn’t require years of practice and knowledge of too much intricate stuff.
  • Have a Consistent Routine and follow it well: this is the key to having a productive day and this means forming a game plan for the day from the moment you wake up
  • Have a Regular Bedtime Routine: The most important thing is to make a bedtime routine and stick to it, this can ensure a good sleep, every day, which can do wonders for the rest of your day.
  • Clean your bedroom and keep your bed comfortable: Sometimes disorganized messes around you can make your brain feel cluttered as well, clean the space around you before you clean your mind.
  • Do something fun in the middle of the day: braking the monotony can instantly energize you. Try something creative or eat something you have not had in some time, this will help!
  • Learn how to cook and cook your meals: The act of providing food for yourself is a very therapeutic one, and learning how to cook with give you a sense of independence.
  • Eat your food in a comfortable, beautiful place: Try not to be distracted when you eat, watching something or reading can hamper your eating ritual and make it seem rushed and make you feel frazzled.
  • Try Ted Talks: Ted talks are great lectures to gain some perspective on a wide array of things you know nothing about. These might help you become more self-aware.
  • Keep a journal Writing your thoughts and feelings is a fantastic way to go on a journey towards yourself.
  • Treat yourself:  Get a massage or buy yourself something pretty, maybe go out of town for a bit, and get refreshed. Loving yourself is important before you try to get better.
  • Help someone every day: Try to do one nice thing for another person every day. The key to becoming a better person is empathy and kindness, you cannot be a better person if you cannot show kindness without expectation.

Conclusion

In this brief guide, we discussed what to do when you want to get better but do not know how to do so, and ways to become a better person.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs): I want to get better

How can I make myself better?

To make yourself better first try to let go of negative thoughts about yourself.

Practice gratitude, try to help other people, reduce online time, be kind, and try to love yourself.

How can I improve my life today?

To improve your life today try to form some short goals that you can achieve by the end of the day.

Also, eat healthy food and try to get some sleep, and try to do something creative.

How can I grow up mentally?

To grow up mentally, try to read more, and listen to some good podcasts. You can also talk to those older than you and ask them how you might be able to grow up mentally, and what has worked for them.

What 3 habits will improve your life?

3 habits that can improve your life are making your bed, reading more, and getting adequate sleep.

How can I live better in 2020?

To live better in 2020, eat better, exercise more, and try to communicate more with your loved ones.

You can also try having a new routine and follow it every day, this can also make your life a lot better.

Citations:

https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-be-a-better-person-4167628

https://www.7cups.com/qa-depression-3/is-it-normal-to-not-want-to-get-better-6012/

lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/42-practical-ways-to-improve-yourself.html

I want to get better but I don’t know how (9 Tips)

Juanita Agboola

Juanita Agboola is the editor in chief of HFNE and an expert in mental health online. She has been writing about online behavior, mental health and psychology issues since 2012. All Guides are reviewed by our editorial team which constitutes various clinical psychologists, PhD and PsyD colleagues.