In this brief guide, we will discuss the possible reasons why some people say, “I hate myself.” We will also give some tips to replace that hatred with more positive feelings and self-acceptance.
I Hate Myself: The Reasons Why
The reasons that make people say, “I hate myself,” can be:
- Dysfunctional family atmosphere
- Low social status
- Constant failures in life
- Excessive criticism of parents, teachers and other authorities,
- Destructive self-criticism,
- Alcohol or drug addiction, gambling and/or other addictions,
- Imperfections in appearance.
I Hate Myself: Signs of Lack of Self-Love
Here are some signs of lack of self-love:
Low self-esteem – A person does not think that he/she is good enough to be around his/her family and friends. His/her self hatred makes him/her think that he/she is not good enough, has no advantages, and is unable to achieve anything in this life.
A communication that hits self-esteem and humiliates a person – Seeing a person who continues to be in a toxic relationship, one can only wonder why people do not like themselves? In many cases, a person does not realize that he is not obliged to maintain communication that is harmful to him. To realize this, it is often necessary to work with a psychologist.
Broken boundaries – A person who does not love himself becomes a kind of scapegoat in the family. Other relatives, without a twinge of conscience, take advantage of his/her opportunities, time, property, and abilities.
Unwillingness to realize their dreams, lack of motivation to start their fulfilment – For years and decades, the person seems to be trying to get out of the vicious circle, but does not make any effort. A person who does not love himself/herself if he does not try to make his/her life better does not seek to take advantage of the opportunities that fate provides him/her.
Focusing on negative – A person thinks that all is bad, and he/she does not notice even little successes or opportunities; he/she does not notice excellent and positive sides of life.
Neglecting healthy sleep – A person is working late at night doing housework or performing any other duties to please other people and to the detriment of his health.
Lack of care for yourself and your body – This can be considered a sign, especially in women’s’ cases.
You are eating unhealthy food – Overeating/malnutrition/ absorption of junk food. Yes, malnutrition can be a form of aggression directed at oneself. Therefore, eating another hamburger instead of healthy soup with salad, you should ask yourself: why do I do this?
Lack of physical activity – Regular physical exercises, swimming, walks in the fresh air – those who do not love themselves do not even think about all this. As a result, this seriously affects his health. Although at first, the lack of activity does not seem a big deal to him/her. However, diseases form over the years, and this is worth remembering.
I Hate Myself: Ways to Overcome Self Loathing
Here are ways to help you overcome the hatred towards yourself and shouting, “I hate myself”:
- Find out the root of your self-hatred
Hatred can come from nowhere. Be more attentive to your triggers, and try to find out what causes you feel this way about yourself. You can make some notes to you about your day. It can help you find the triggers and do the first step to overcome self-hatred.
- Practice positive self-talk
Instead of criticizing yourself all the time, say good things about yourself. You can write down the things you love or the things you like about yourself on a list and read them whenever negative thoughts pop up.
- Reframe your negative thoughts
Reframing is a therapeutic technique that assumes shifting thoughts to a little different perspective. Reframing can help the negativity not feel too overwhelming.
For example, instead of saying, “I am stupid, I failed the exam,” you should say, “I failed the exam because I left the preparation for the last day. Next time I will prepare earlier and better.”
- Spend time with people who inspire you and make you feel positive
Studies showed that isolation is not a good idea if a person hates himself/herself. Being around people, interacting with them makes you feel good, valued, and cared for.
Sure, you should spend time with positive people and avoid people with a negative mindset.
- Practice self-compassion
Some people do not differ self-compassion from self-love, thinking they are synonyms. Self-compassion means acceptance of your failures, mistakes, and negative thoughts, perceiving them as normal things. As you know, nobody is perfect.
- Get professional help.
You can speak to a therapist. A professional psychologist can help you manage your self-hatred and develop positive feelings instead.
I Hate Myself: Quotes about Self-Love
It sounds like a cliche, but I also learned that you’re not going to fall for the right person until you love yourself and feel good about how you are.
One way to feel good about yourself is to love yourself, to take care of yourself.
You can’t let someone else lower your self-esteem, because that’s what it is – self-esteem. You need first to love yourself before you have anybody else love you.
If you can learn to love yourself and all the flaws, you can love other people so much better. Moreover, that makes you so happy.
To love yourself right now, just as you are, is to give yourself heaven. Don’t wait until you die. If you wait, you die now. If you love, you live now.
Recommended books and sources
- HFNE “I Hate Myself”
- HFNE “I Hate My Wife”
- Overcoming Low Self-Esteem, 2nd Edition: A self-help guide using cognitive behavioral techniques (Overcoming Books)
- Sometimes I hate myself
- THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU: Going Beyond Self-Hate, A Compassionate Process for Learning to Accept Yourself Exactly as You Are
- Unworthy: How to Stop Hating Yourself
- Why Do I Hate Myself?
FAQs about the topic “I hate myself.”
What does it mean to hate yourself?
To hate yourself means having negative thoughts and feelings about yourself and not accepting yourself with your disadvantages, failures, and mistakes, also seeing only negative characteristics in yourself. It is typical, especially for people with low self-esteem.
How do I stop feeling bad about myself?
To stop feeling bad about yourself, you should focus on your good or “so-so” qualities and make notes about them to read every time you feel negative about yourself. Be more understanding and tolerant of yourself. Try new activities and learn new skills; it can make you develop and more positive about yourself and life in general.
How do I stop hating?
You can stop hating by trying the following tips:
- Find out the root of your self-hatred,
- Practice positive self-talk,
- Reframe your negative thoughts,
- Spend time with people who inspire you and make you feel positive,
- Practice self-compassion,
- Get professional help.
How do you help someone who hates themselves?
You can help someone who hates himself/herself by following these tips:
- Compliment them but be honest,
- Bring out your issues criticizing yourself for some similar things,
- Encourage relaxation telling them that some rest can even affect their job positively,
- Note their anger at others when they feel judged. Remind them that it can be more useful to look inside instead of outside; nothing is wrong or harmful, all depends on our perception (beliefs) and interpretation,
- Tell them it is healthy and good to express their wishes and what they want. They can find it selfish if they do it, but in reality, as a result, it damages only them.
- Confirm how incredible they are, list their good qualities and advantages, it can help to raise their self-esteem, which has an essential role in overcoming self-love,
- Do not break their trust. One of the reasons why a person hates himself/herself can be being left or cheated by other close people. They can be vulnerable, so be delicate and caring towards them, and be patient.
Can you love someone if you don’t love yourself?
You cannot love someone if you do not love yourself. You can be connected to someone, who makes you feel good, and who raises your self-esteem, making you feel cared for and appreciated. To love someone at first, you should learn to love and forgive yourself.
What is love definition Wikipedia?
Love definition by Wikipedia is, “Love encompasses a range of strong and positive emotional and mental states, from the most sublime virtue or good habit, the deepest interpersonal affection and to the simplest pleasure.”
In this brief guide, we discussed the topic, “I hate myself.” We presented the reasons why some people experience self-hatred, and we also gave some tips that can help you overcome the feeling. To stop saying, “I hate myself,” first of all, you should stop concentrating on your negative sides, value yourself more by supporting and understanding yourself, and try to find the beauty in life.
Please feel free to comment on the content or ask any questions in the comments section below.
- I Hate Myself: Ways to Combat Self Loathing
- Ways to shut the door on self-hatred