I hate humans (A brief guide)

I hate humans

In this brief guide, we will discuss “I hate humans”, what it means and how to cope. 

I hate humans

“I hate humans”, have you heard it before? Probably a few times in your life. Some people may get angry at comments like this, some others can look confused and ask “why?”. This simple phrase can evoke many different feelings at the same time depending actually on who hears it and for the reasons they do. 

Others might identify themselves as a misanthrope, someone who dislikes humankind to the point they avoid human society. It consists of a generalized hatred, dislikes or distrusts towards human nature or species. 

In some cases, our negative experiences with other people outgrow the good experiences, for instance, maybe we have such noisy neighbors that won’t let us sleep or maybe you have experienced how a relative has disappointed you many times over, triggering the thought “I hate humans”.

I hate humans (A brief guide)

Many of the people who say “I hate humans” are simply trying to express their frustration or that by saying this it will protect them from harm or pain. In this modern world, it has actually become a trend due to the constant changes, the uncertainty, and the fear about tomorrow.

Also, this negative and pessimistic way of viewing humankind can be caused by bad experiences in general when interacting with other people or simply being disappointed many times over or just seeing how human beings tend to have a destructive nature where they tend to destroy everything around them. 

In addition, some of the people who say “I hate humans”, may defend the bond between humans-animals and how easy it is to relate to them because they are unconditional, noble, they don’t lie or cheat as humans do, so in the end, humans can’t be trusted.

“Researchers have found that this type of cynicism can also show up as a temporary symptom of burnout: When we are living in a state of time scarcity and overwhelm, we lose sight of our values and need for connection, and other humans can begin to feel like distractions and stressful obligations”, according to Shonda Moralis from cnbc.com. 

How to escape from the “I hate humans” mentality?

Our beliefs, without we even knowing it, are powerful enough to transform into facts. Additionally, we tend to find validation from the environment, meaning we search for evidence to prove our point and all we see is that. So if we say “I hate humans” most likely you’ll find many examples to back up this idea. 

In contrast, if we believe people are inherently good, then we will find many examples in the real world to back up this statement and our belief that “humans are good”. Living in a world where we are able to change the way we perceive people is actually more enjoyable and happy place. 

I hate humans (A brief guide)

Another scenario can be, generalizing the idea of hating humans when it is just one or two people that are part of the human race that we dislike. Many technological tools can help us get rid of giving us an option to remove people from our lives through a simple click in the “unfriend” button but sometimes it is not that easy. 

Disliking someone or some people is just a necessary mechanism of survival that we have been using to get by for many years, way before social media and technology. 

Our response when we dislike someone

According to Headspace “In order to understand what happens in your body when you dislike someone, you can start by trying to understand fear. As Robert Sapolsky writes in “Why Your Brain Hates Other People,” when we see someone who looks different from us, “there is preferential activation of the amygdala,” which means the brain region associated with fear and aggression flares up.”

This emotional reaction has the ability to ignite a long-term pattern of dislike when it is backup or supported by action such as you perceiving that someone has hurt you, your fear then becomes rational.

The negative feelings that are now associated with being in the presence of someone as the bad experiences are more significant than any good experiences we may have had, the negative thoughts will tend to trigger out fear response mechanism or flight-or-fight response.

In this sense, the person or certain people become stressors and trigger our response even though it is not actually considered a life or death situation. Our brain won’t differentiate between a real threat such as someone pointing a dangerous object at you or having to be in the same room as someone you actually dislike or hate. 

In an ideal world, every person we interact with would be nice, mindful, generous, considerate and will tend to have a personality that resembles ours but it is not a general rule and certainly doesn’t happen all the time. Sometimes we have to deal with people we like and sometimes we have to live or work with people with actually don’t. However, consider that it is nearly impossible for people to like other people equally. Knowing how to cope when thinking “I hate humans” is the key.

How to deal with the “I hate humans” Mentality

You may have to see people you clearly dislike since when you are around them you feel sick, your heart beats faster, your palms get sweaty and just the thought of having to talk to them makes you want to puke. However, sometimes, such as in a work-related setting, you have to, there is no other choice. 

In some other cases, it can be a family member or several of them that you consider very annoying, coming for dinner. According to Talkspace.com “Successful people are able to handle problematic personalities they have to interact with.” Using all or any of the five strategies we will mention, will help you to deal more easy way with difficult people or those who you truly dislike. 

I hate humans (A brief guide)

However, there are more strategies out there to shift your “I hate humans” mentality if your thought is related to a specific person or a group of people you seem to dislike or not tolerate. 

Try to stay calm

Our emotions can play games on us, sometimes they will take over, something like the famous case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde or sometimes we feel we have a Hulk waiting to come out at any moment. Knowing how to deal with our emotions and stay calm under any circumstances that may trigger is very important. 

We know dealing with people who stress you out can complicate your ability to regulate and maintain a calm approach. However, start by taking a deep breath and quiet your mind letting go of the thought that is making you arouse. Also, it is ideal you can express those emotions you have inside at an appropriate time and being assertive. 

Focus on what is important when communicating

Bringing up past feuds related to previous conflicts or problems can be tempting when communicating with those who we dislike or seem to hate. However, what this does is clouding your judgment and the real issue will eventually keep growing, making mutual understanding and finding a solution to the current problem less likely. 

Focus on keywords and what is important, try to analyze the situation leaving your emotions aside and try to rationalize your thought into finding an appropriate solution. 

Set limits/boundaries

Some people tend to make us feel the same every time we interact with them if this is the case try to come up with limits or boundaries for them so you can cultivate your mental health and stay sane. Identifying what actually makes you get angry or what bothers you from that person is important, getting clear about what makes you feel crazy is key.

For instance, if someone tends to make racist comments or criticize your religious background and you are clearly not comfortable with it, make sure to let them know in a polite and assertive way to avoid making such comments in your presence.

Identify what actually bothers you about them

Once you have identified their specific behaviors then try to do your best to keep your emotions under control. Digging a little deeper and going beyond their behavior can let you come up with a strategy to help you deal with them and they behave in the best way possible. 

I hate humans (A brief guide)

Coming up with strategies is key here since they will help you prevent your emotions from being everywhere and clouding your judgment, to staying calm and relaxed whenever possible.

Listen to your body

When you are upset or angry towards someone, your body will make sure to let you know and you will actually feel it too. Spend some time identifying and paying attention to your body and the emotions, physical symptoms and how you are feeling at the moment. Attempt to answer the question, how are my emotions linked to my physical symptoms? Is it pressure in your chest, the tension in your muscles or throbbing in your jaw? All of these physical symptoms are examples of common responses to anxiety or stressful situations.

Additionally, all of those anxiety-related symptoms have many ways and strategies for you to cope with them, such as yoga, meditation, reading, writing, eating healthy and exercising or going to therapy. 

You are in control, don’t forget it!

Some people like to step into others boundaries or they just simply know which buttons to push so they get on your nerves. When emotions control your behavior it can be difficult to change perspective and see the bigger picture to find a potential solution to the situation. However, don’t let anyone steal your inner peace, your calmness, and your happiness because if you let them win, all they want is to destabilize you. 

Why is this blog about “I hate Humans” important?

We have discussed how the phrase “I hate humans” can be very powerful and can turn a belief into a fact by giving into finding examples to support such belief, on the other hand, if we believe the opposite we will tend to do the same. 

In contrast, you can find yourself saying “I hate humans” because you are generalizing the dislike or hate you feel for certain people that happen to be part of humankind. Ask yourself why you feel this way towards them so you can come up with a strategy or a solution to feel better around them, especially when they are unavoidable. Remember you are responsible and in total control over your emotions, do not let other people gain power over you by darkening your day with their mere presence. 

Please feel free to comment in the comments section below!

References

Cnbc.com

Headspace.com

Talkspace.com

I hate humans (A brief guide)

Juanita Agboola

Juanita Agboola is the editor in chief of HFNE and an expert in mental health online. She has been writing about online behaviour, mental health and psychology issues since 2012. All Guides are reviewed by our editorial team which constitutes various clinical psychologists, PhD and PsyD colleagues.