How to Stop Loving Someone (steps)

How to Stop Loving Someone

We are all social beings and we love the idea of knowing someone and forming an association.

This is also our survival instinct as we just can’t live alone.

As much as these associations are important for us, sometimes these can also lead to disastrous effects if anything goes wrong in a relationship.

That is why one should be really careful when it comes to loving someone.

Love is a fascinating subject and people just love the idea of love and how they want to stay closer to the person they are in love with.

However, more often than not, these lovely associations fall apart and then both or sometimes only one partner has to deal with the effects of that broken association.

Almost every single one of us remembers to be young and in love and then feeling the sweet sting of that love going away from you.

In this article, we will discuss How to stop loving someone.

How to Stop Loving Someone (steps)

Once you have fallen out of all the “lovey-dovey” phase and got to know about the ugly side of the person you just keep on thinking about how to stop loving someone.

We intend to answer this question of how to stop loving someone with a few useful tips.

People have the audacity to wrong you and then play the victim and that’s when they become strangers to you.

That is the point in life that got you thinking about how to stop loving someone.

It is never going to be easy, of course, but you need to try and you need to keep searching for the answer to the question of how to stop loving someone.

One day or another you are going to get the answer, sooner or later.

Keep reminding yourself that you are worth it and you have done everything you could and the only thing that matters now is to find the answer to how to stop loving someone.

Let’s discuss those useful tips to answer your question of how to stop loving someone. 

  • Tips for how to stop loving someone

It is not always in our hands to decide who we fall in love with and sometimes after that is happened we wish that it has never happened in the first place.

At times, we fell in love with people who do not feel the same way about us. This can have a strong impact on a person’s emotional and mental well-being.

A person needs to understand to let go of someone who has not understood your true feelings and your affection towards them.

Or maybe you are in love with a person who does not have your best interests at heart or there could be so many differences which make it difficult for the relationship to work properly.

Love is a complicated feeling, no matter what the situation is and even when you know that the relationship is not working, it becomes difficult for you to change your feelings.

However, we have brought some tips to you which can help you deal with these types of situations. 

How to Stop Loving Someone (steps)
  1. Accept the Situation

No matter what the situation is, change always begins when a person accepts a situation and then acts according to it.

Optimism is the way to live and you need to get a hold on to this optimism. It shows your personal strength if you are strong and optimistic even during the darkest times of your life.

However, the first step to understanding how to stop loving someone is to accept it.

You need to understand that in a relationship, it becomes more important to consider the present reality instead of living in the future.

The person you are in love with might not be feeling the same way or maybe you are wildly in love at some moments and spend the rest of the time arguing with each other due to opinionated differences.

First of all, just accepting the fact that your relationship is not going anywhere is probably the first step towards personal growth.

Don’t consider yourself a failure as it takes great courage and self-awareness to realize that something is broken.

  1. It Will Takes Time

Any type of feeling goes away with the passage of time but it usually takes time and it is not always a rapid process.

You might feel a lot of discomfort and restlessness during this time.

You need to keep reminding yourself of these following things so you can get over this feeling a little earlier. 

  1. Be compassionate with yourself by talking to yourself things that you might tell a friend in the same situation. 
  2. Be patient with yourself, don’t rush into things.
  3. Always remember that it is completely ok to feel the hurt as it comes naturally and there is nothing to be ashamed about it.
  4. Keep reminding yourself that this pain shall go away some time for sure and it would not last forever. 
  5. You are not foolish to love someone so deeply because it takes a lot of strength to be kind to unkind people. 
  6. It will take a little time to change your perspective but it will change for sure. 
  7. Identify What it Takes

The next step in knowing how to stop loving someone is to look at your relationship rather clearly and carefully.

Look at it and see what you really want and what you don’t.

Once you have seen it, you need to know what are the needs of your relationship and are original deal breakers in it.

You need to see what you want in a relationship and whatnot, for instance, communication is the key to a successful relationship and if you are texting someone and they are not answering you back then you should know that they have prioritized their time without you.

It clearly shows that they are a good match and you need to understand that once the person does not meet your needs.

Keep reminding yourself and you will get over them quite easily. 

  1. Prioritize

If you want to know how to stop loving someone, you need to know how to prioritize other relationships as well.

Once we have fallen in love, we tend to forget about other important relationships which are in our life.

The same thing happens when a person is going through heartbreak, he or she also forgets about the support system around them and they only stuck on a single relationship that is not working out for them.

In this difficult time, you need to remind yourself that there are many other important people and relationships in your life and you need to prioritize those relationships too.

Your loved ones can provide you support and guidance which you so desperately crave at this moment in your life.

They can also share some of the most insightful pieces of wisdom with you which they have gained through their own experience.

You need to pay attention to the parts of how they got over the effects of toxic relationships and how your interaction with your loved ones made you feel.

However, don’t spend time with people who try to judge you on your bold choice while the only thing you have done is to choose what is best for you.

Do go out to those who make you feel even better and who loves you unconditionally.

How to Stop Loving Someone (steps)
  1. Remove anything which Reminds you of Them

This technique in how to stop loving someone is used as a therapy to many who have gone through a recent heartbreak.

Anything you have with you which reminds you of your former loved one, you need to get rid of that thing.

It could be pictures, gifts, tea shirts, or even a mug, just remove these things from your life and put them where you are not able to see them daily or constantly.

The best advice would be not to see them again but it is not always practical to do so.

The technique to remove every reminder might not work if you are going through a divorce because things are different when it comes to divorce.

Moreover, if the person is an office colleague then it can also make things worse.

If you need to see them then always keep a distance and never every show your week side that it hurts to just look at them.

Do not keep staring at their pictures, do not look at the gifts or things which reminds you of them.

This will make things harder for you and try to get out of the situation as early as possible.

Do not gawk over the situation any longer than you should be.

  1. Give Yourself Time

Another step to know how to stop loving yourself is to give yourself time.

Do not go hard on yourself and take this period as a transformation period and try to give yourself space and make changes that are necessary for this period.

Once you are in love, everything feels so different and you just want to look the way they want you to look and you make numerous changes in your personality just to fit into their image of perfect.

Take those spaces back, try to do what you would like to do, and avoid doing things that remind you of that person.

Stop going to places where you used to go with them. 

  1. Look Forward

The next step in how to stop loving someone is to look forward and not backward.

‘Life can only be understood backward but it has to be lived forward’ is one of my favorite quotes and you need to try this too.

Look at the future and new prospects what this future holds for you. Stop looking at what has already happened and start looking for new opportunities.

Every single day is a new day, giving you new hopes and new dreams and new possibilities.

Try to avail of those personalities. If it helps, try thinking it this way that in the coming 5 years, it won’t matter to you what actually happened because you will be in a better place with hopefully a better partner.

Think positive and you will have positive things in life. 

How to Stop Loving Someone (steps)
  • FAQs about How to stop loving someone 

If I couldn’t grasp the concept of how to stop loving someone, should I consult a therapist?

If you think that you are not able to know how to stop loving someone and you need to consult a therapist you should.

If you see the following signs you should also talk to the therapist, have thoughts of suicide, feeling hopeless, finding yourself in a dark place, depression, or anxiety.

Would it take so long to know how to stop loving someone?

It is going to take as long as you want it to take, just give yourself space and everything will fall into place. 

References

Owens, W. (Nov, 2019). How to stop loving someone who does not love you back. 

Raypole, C.  (Jan, 2020). How to stop loving someone. 

How to Stop Loving Someone (steps)

Juanita Agboola

Juanita Agboola is the editor in chief of HFNE and an expert in mental health online. She has been writing about online behavior, mental health and psychology issues since 2012. All Guides are reviewed by our editorial team which constitutes various clinical psychologists, PhD and PsyD colleagues.