How to Stop Being a Narcissist (A Complete Guide)

How to Stop Being a Narcissist

In this article we will discuss how to stop being a narcissist. This is the type of personality disorder in which a person has inflated sense and disrupted perception.

The self-image is getting a break and soon the person loses their self-identity. But it happens when you seek no treatment for this.

Personality is the combination of traits and characteristics that a person has to regulate their life functioning and do well in their social norms. These traits make the complete self.

Some behaviors are copied and get conditioned with any stimulus. If the person is doing well in their daily functioning and acceptable in society and not giving harm to others.

Then the person will be perceived as a normal human being with healthy traits.

How to Stop Being a Narcissist (A Complete Guide)

Narcissistic is referring to the type of personality disorder in which the mental condition of the person is shaken and the person remains involved in self-importance, and looking for deep attention and admiration.

The person will experience the relationship issues and lack of empathy for others.

On the other hand, narcissistic personality disorder creates deficits in the important parts of life for instance relationships, academic and social life, financial affairs and professional life.

The person doesn’t want to get disappointed if they don’t get the desired attention and attention. They feel so unhappy and sad .

They are always complaining about their relationships and are not satisfied with their loved ones and also do not feel enjoy with their relatives or social gathering.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder:

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is characterized by long term exaggeration of feeling and self-importance.

They often seek strong attention and admiration from people and they show no empathy to others. They often seem to be planning to become successful and grabbing attention also thinking about achieving power.

They always take advantage of people. The narcissistic is developed in early adulthood and occurs in specific situations.

Diagnostic Criteria 

Although the reason and cause are unknown of being narcissistic this condition is different from mania and substance use disorder and it is found on cluster B of the personality disorder in DSM.

The people with narcissistic people don’t believe that they have any mental disorder so they don’t seek any treatment like counseling and therapy, hence they think about themselves as a normal human being.

The term narcissistic personality is coined by psychoanalyst Robert Waelder, 1925. The term NPD is introduced by later Heinz Kohut   

The behaviors that we behold are sometimes pulled us in trouble so we don’t make out ways to get rid of rigid behaviors.

You have seen around some people who are behaving odd and eccentric or some belief that they should be worshipped by others. Their mindset has reached a split personality destination so they execute the behaviors like this.

But this is a universe where everything is not made without their solutions. If there are some behavioral deficits then we can make it normal.

Not any behaviors are so rigid if you are determined to change it.you can also stop being narcissistic.

A person with a narcissistic personality disorder is not relaxed for a second because they are living an abnormal life that deviates them to do normal tasks and other stuff.

Although they get more attention still they feel uncomfortable.

How to Stop Being a Narcissist (A Complete Guide)

Symptoms

The severity of NPD varies from person to person the severity level too. So some of the symptoms are listed below.

Take a look at it.

  • A person with a personality disorder has an exaggerated sense of self-importance.
  • The person is planning to seek attention and admiration from others if it does not happen. The person can go in sadness and extreme disappointment.
  • The person wants to be accepted as superior even without achievements.
  • The person overly exaggerated the achievements and talents
  • Preoccupied with success fantasies
  • The person is preoccupied with the fantasy of power; I think that I am so beautiful and very attractive among all. The person badly needs attention all the time.
  • They want to make their equality with the same individual that has traits.
  • They used to monopolize the conversation and look down on people and they feel as if these people are inferior.
  • They used to expect special favors and don’t want the top to be questioned about their activities and tasks.
  • They used to get advantages from others and they won’t even get rewarded by others.
  • They are extremely self-centered and feel themselves the only one who is awesome and unique than all.
  • They have an unwillingness and inability to understand the needs of others.
  • They always behave in a very poor and arrogant manner, coming across like united, very boastful and pretentious at times.
  • They used to pretend that the very best items like cars, houses, or anything they have.

What happens when they get criticism for their behaviors and traits?

When the narcissistic don’t get their desired appraisal they can get furious and can’t calm down. They will respond very badly.

And get angry with that person they did not get special treatment from. It is obvious that this person can’t get any opposite commenting on their behaviors due to their scattered mindset and they often can’t make any healthy relationship with others due to this illness.

They don’t think that they are doing wrong but they blame others for doing badly with them. So they react arrogantly with them.

They can get significant interpersonal issues and conflicts. Soon the people avoid this kind of person who is not tackalable.

They always throw tantrums in public and show exaggerated behaviors in front of others to get appraisal and admiration. They can’t control emotions 

And face difficulty to regulate emotions and behaviors. They even cannot adapt in any environment and also face problems in dealing with issues.

They fall in depression easily due to imperfection. They feel insecure, shame, inner humiliation that why he/she does that. Also face vulnerability.

How to Stop Being a Narcissist (A Complete Guide)

Although these people don’t seek help from any specialist because they feel that they are mentally fit and healthy.

If they seek any treatment then it would be for depression or substance use or come with any other mental health problems.

They will feel insecure and feel the shame in getting the narcissistic treatment.

They feel the insult to  their self-esteem and make it difficult to accept and go to the clinic.

Prevalence:

A narcissistic personality disorder affects more men than in women.

Age:

Narcissistic personality disorder can occur in early adulthood and teenage. Because it is better that if you find any person who is dealing with narcissistic issues .

Then you can help them with understanding and best guidance.

Researchers think that there is no valid proof and factors that we can state as this is the real cause. Still, the real cause is not found.

But we have the cases in which the most pampering or overprotective children have NPD rather than those whose parenting is on the level.

So we don’t need to over pamper the child and let them do what they want to do. We should make arrangements for their activities so that they can freely move in the environment.

Some other factors that are neurobiological and genetically too.

How to Stop being a Narcissist

This is very clear that a narcissistic person will not want to change and also psychotherapy just because they don’t want to look closely at one or the reason is that the person doesn’t want to accept herself as involved in mental illness.

So to come to them in therapy is not an easy task. This is very difficult to make their mind to come and join sessions.

They don’t want to talk about their flaws, negative behaviors, and feelings of shame to discuss their ideas and mindset of superiority.

Sometimes the person can yell at the therapist that they are better than you and nice.

Therapist views sometimes trigger the behaviors and they shout too. But the therapy works and it is well worth it.

How to Stop Being a Narcissist (A Complete Guide)

Seven-Step Plan: How to Stop being a Narcissist

The simple seven-step plan that works for many narcissistic clients. First of all the therapist should understand which domain is badly affected.

The narcissistic can follow the plan and follow it accordingly without getting upset from the people around them.

In this plan, the therapist permits you to ignore others in your surroundings and just focus on the plan.

Start with the very close thing that touches your heart.

  1. Identify the trigger for behaviors that are badly needed to change
  2. Identify the triggering situation that you want to change
  3. Identify your behavior you want to change
  4. Imagine your ideal reaction
  5. Inhibit /delay your behaviors
  6. Substitute new change
  7. Review your area to improve

So these are the top seven-step plans that you will follow in finding the best response.

Let us start how it works:

i) How to Stop being a Narcissist: Identify the behaviors that are badly needed to change:

In this step, you will identify the behaviors that will need to change. Narcissists do negatively on the triggers and later they feel regret about it.

So to get rid of this situation the person should identify which thing triggers the behavior.

For example, if the person doesn’t want to wait and he/she has to wait in that situation they scream and publicly devalue them so in reaction they get very disappointed.

So the task in this step is to stop screaming.

ii)  How to Stop being a Narcissist: Identify the behaviors you want to change:

In this step, you will identify behavior in which you are engaged.

The situation in which you get triggered and you want to change that behavior. You will have to make a list of all of them that pinch you and you react negatively.

For example: if he/she screams at people due to anything. Then they should come back without responding to it.

iii-How to Stop being a Narcissist: Imagine Your Ideal Reaction:

You just think about how you would react according to your desires instead of your currently reacting status. Now you write down the new and old reactions.

For example: if the person is screaming, then they set a new reaction to calm down.

iv-How to Stop being a Narcissist: Inhibit and delay unwanted behavior:

You will have to practice about delaying behaviors when triggered.

The practice will make the trigger weaker and gradually with practice the triggering reaction can inhibit or delay too.

For example: count to 25 before responding.

v-How to Stop being a Narcissist: Substitute a new response:

Give credit to you for inhibiting the old responses and setting the new reaction on triggered situations too. Doing a check will give you a positive reward.

vi-How to Stop being a Narcissist: Review your success:

Think about where you started and now where are you standing with success. Feel great on a real purpose now.

Know about the real value of credit and appraisal.

This seven step plan will work for how to stop being narcissist.

FAQ about How to Stop being a Narcissist

Narcissism can be treated? 

Yes, Narcissism can be treated with the help of therapy. Therapy helps to develop realistic expectations with the self. 

How do I stop being a narcissist?

Here are the steps you should take:

– Don’t argue about ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ 

– Instead, try to empathise with their feelings
 
– Use ‘we’ language

– Don’t expect an apology

References

  1. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662
  2. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder
  3. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understanding-narcissism/201802/7-steps-changing-your-narcissistic-responses

How to Stop Being a Narcissist (A Complete Guide)

Juanita Agboola

Juanita Agboola is the editor in chief of HFNE and an expert in mental health online. She has been writing about online behavior, mental health and psychology issues since 2012. All Guides are reviewed by our editorial team which constitutes various clinical psychologists, PhD and PsyD colleagues.