How to not be nervous for a date (Tips)

How to not be nervous for a date

In this guide, we will discuss “how to not be nervous for a date” tips and tricks to manage your anxiety when meeting someone for the first time.

How to not be nervous for a date

“How not to be nervous for a date?” you may have been wondering, well we get it. You are having your first date with this amazing person you have just met or someone you feel really attracted to but never had the courage before to ask out until now. 

Here are 5 tips you could follow before a date so it can help you feel more relaxed and calm:

  • Plan your date ahead and if possible, get a head start by suggesting the place where you will meet your date.
  • Try going on a “date” with yourself first. This can help you get in touch with who you are letting you have a better date. 
  • If possible, have a pre-date workout session. Either at the gym or at home, exercise releases neurochemicals that have the power to boost your mood and make you feel positive, happy and energized.
  • Talk on the phone before you meet in person.
  • Try to stay busy before the date. Overthinking about what could possibly go wrong during the date, even before going to the date. It will only feed your anxiety and then the probability of something going wrong will be real. 
  • Avoid drinking too much to play cool or less anxious because it might go south.
  • Breathe slowly and deeply. This will help your muscles relax and feel calm.
  • Remind yourself they are probably nervous too, you are definitely not the only one. 
How to not be nervous for a date (Tips)

It does not really matter how many “first dates” you have had until today, they still have the potential to make you feel nervous. This seems to be even more so if you really feel attracted to this person and you are desperately seeking to cause a very good impression that will make them go into a second date with you. However, do not overwhelm yourself since it is the “best” way to make mistakes.

 First, you need to be fully aware of how normal it is to feel nervous before your first date, and to some extent, the nerves are actually a good sign because you actually care and there could be a potential match made in heaven. Besides, if you were not feeling nervous at all then that means you do not actually care and would not have accepted going to this date in the first place. Here we will give you some advice on how to manage your first date anxiety. 

  1. Plan your date

When we are feeling nervous or anxious is because we feel we are not in control of the situation at all. However, you can tackle this by suggesting you go somewhere you actually know and feel comfortable about, like your favorite restaurant or bar. This will give you a head start!

As discussed, feeling uncertain or not having an idea of what to expect can increase your anxiety to the roof. If your date suggests a place you have been before then it may really help you get there earlier to get familiar with the place and the environment giving you an overall idea of what to expect. In addition, make sure you know how you will get there (e.g. walking, by bus or car) so you make sure you arrive on time. You could also have your outfit ready the night before your date so you won’t have to feel anxious last minute about what to wear. 

  1. Go on a “Date” with yourself first

When we go on dates we want to live up to our high standards. Everything has to go according to plan and perfect, but we forget how to really enjoy ourselves and get in touch with who we are. 

According to Eva Taylor Grant from Bustle.com “Grab a few minutes before the date is scheduled to take place, stand in front of the mirror, and look at yourself truthfully.” Just remember yourself “perfection is relative” since what you think is perfect may not be the same definition for your date, so avoid putting unnecessary pressure upon yourself. 

How to not be nervous for a date (Tips)
  1. Do some pre-date Workout

By workout, we don’t mean you have to go all crazy spending a lot of hours in the gym. Many experts recognize how exercise can be beneficial not only to your overall health but also because of our brain chemistry changes and allows you to boost your mood and even turn jitters into confidence. If you are not a gym fan or don’t like it, you can also do some exercise by walking around your neighbourhood or around a park (20 to 30 mins will do).

Plan to do it in the morning so you can have plenty of time to take a shower and look your best before your date. 

How to not be nervous for a date (Tips)
  1. Talk on the phone before you meet in person

First dates can make anyone nervous so a good way to help each other lower Down your anxiety levels is to have a mini first date over the phone but remember to keep it short. In addition, you can identify some things in common or possible topics to talk about during your date so you won’t feel “awkward” when meeting in person and at least you will be able to keep the conversation going.

  1.  Stay active, keep yourself busy

We all have been there, many times before. We start thinking about how the date will go, “will he/she like me?” or how perfect we want it to be. However, the best way to avoid overthinking too much and building up your anxiety before your date is to keep yourself and your mind occupied, but just make sure you don’t do too much or you will feel exhausted later on.

Instead, try to plan ahead on what to wear or ask a friend to help you get ready, stay grounded and confident. 

  1. Avoid drinking too much before and during your date

Alcohol is considered a central nervous system depressant which means it works by slowing down the activity in some parts of the brain resulting in impaired cognitive functions. For many people, alcohol helps to “loosen up”, relax and feel less nervous. Yes, alcohol has sedative effects but it can actually increase anxiety symptoms and stress. 

We are not saying you can’t treat yourself to a glass of wine before your date or even during your date but just remember not to drink too much.

  1. Breathe!

Yes, as simple and silly as it may sound some of us actually forget how to breathe and it is easier to start having a panic attack before our date. Try doing some breathing exercises (there are plenty on YouTube) while you are getting ready for your date. 

This will help you stay calm and relax while keeping your anxiety on point. In addition to your breathing exercises, you could also try some guided meditation to keep your mind distracted from overthinking about your date and bring you to the present moment.

  1. Remember: Your date may even be more nervous than you are!

We are all humans, and we are all entitled to feel anxious or nervous from time to time. Especially if we are facing unfamiliar or new situations. Allow yourself to feel how you are feeling, it will be just temporary. Also, think about how your date may even be more nervous than you are so having a little chat about it and being honest about it can actually make you feel more comfortable after your date confesses they are feeling the same way you do!

Why is this blog about how to not be nervous for a date important?

There are plenty of tips and tricks on how to not be nervous for a date and here we just mentioned a few. Overall, it is important to remember that feeling nervous or anxious before a first date is completely normal, it is actually a good sign or indication that you care about your date and will give you that “push” to be at your best. 

In addition, overthinking too much about how your date will go or if they will like you or not will have a negative effect on you and even can affect your behavior. Just be yourself and keep your head and mind into the present moment. 

Please feel free to leave any comments or thoughts about the content of this article!

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) about how to not be nervous for a date

How do I calm my nerves before a date?

You can calm your nerves by not overthinking too much about the date, let things go with the flow and just make sure to be yourself. Also, it helps to distract yourself before the date by doing some exercise or go grocery shopping. In addition, put things into perspective and try to dress for yourself not for your date since feeling comfortable will make you stay relaxed. Before meeting your date take some deep breaths and think about how your date is probably more nervous than you are. Finally, make sure you enjoy your date and make yourself laugh. 

How do you not freak out on a first date?

Freaking out before your first date will only feed your anxiety so the best thing to do is realize why it freaks you out. Make sure you plan something that makes you feel safe, comfortable and keep it relatively short. It also helps if you try to go on a “date” with yourself first so you can start becoming familiar with it and learn how to develop strategies to cope with stress. 

Do guys get nervous before dates?

Yes, Guys get nervous before dates and depending on the guy, he may even feel more nervous than you are. Men also worry about a lot of things when going on a first date and like you, they may want to cause a very good first impression. Try not to overthink too much about it, just be yourself and let the date take its course, you may even end up enjoying more than you imagined.

Should you tell your date you’re nervous?

You can tell your date you’re nervous, be honest. The truth is your date is probably as nervous as you are or even more so. There is nothing wrong with feeling nervous, in fact, it is a very normal reaction. As soon as you start becoming familiar with the situation and as the date goes on you will start feeling more relaxed and even think about how “it is not that bad”. 

Is it okay to kiss on the first date?

Kissing on the first date is not right or wrong, it just depends on how comfortable you feel with the person and if you really feel like doing it or not. In the end, it may even be the perfect way to end your date and feel more comfortable and in control over the situation.

Recommended reading

  • To Date a Man, You Must Understand a Man: The Keys to Catch a Great Guy (Relationship and Dating Advice for Women Book 7)
  • Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl—A Woman’s Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship
  • The New Rules: The dating dos and don’ts for the digital generation from the bestselling authors of The Rules
  • Done with Dating: 7 Steps to Finding Your Person
  • Relationship Reconnected: Proven Strategies to Improve Communication and Deepen Empathy

References 

Shatto, R. (2017, Nov.) 10 Tips To Get Rid Of Nerves Before A First Date So You Don’t Freak Out. Retrieved from Eliitedaily.com.

Grant. E.T (2018, Apr.) 11 Tips For Calming Your Nerves Before A First Date. Retrieved from Bustle.com.

Piña, C. (2018, Aug.) If You’re Anxious About A First Date, Don’t Freak Out and Try These 9 Strategies Instead. Retrieved from Elitedaily.com.

How to not be nervous for a date (Tips)

Daniela Paez

Daniela Paez is a Clinical Psychologist with an MSc. In Clinical Neuropsychology from Bangor University. She has vast experience in working with children with disabilities, adolescents and their families, in extreme conditions of poverty and vulnerability. Additionally, she owns a private practice where she provides neuropsychological evaluation for children and adults, and treatment for mood disorders, anxiety, couple therapy, among other conditions.