How to deal with Loneliness (A Comprehensive Guide)

How to deal with Loneliness

People’s mood is an ever-changing thing and it does not remain constant. Sometimes you are happy, lively, and enjoy life at its fullest.

Other times you are lethargic, down, and feel blue and you don’t even know the reason behind it.

There are hundreds of ways to make you feel better when you are down and you would be able to find many books and stuff about doing something when you are actually down.

However, at times a person feels in a way that he or she does not even know how to express him or her during this mood.

That is the time when you feel lonely and you just can’t comprehend the world around you.

Loneliness does not have a single-phase and there is no specific way to define or explain loneliness.

That is the reason people also don’t know how to deal with loneliness. 

Let’s discuss how to deal with loneliness.

How to deal with Loneliness (A Comprehensive Guide)

When a person is not fully aware of what is going on inside his head, he is just not able to deal with it.

However, let me tell you that there are a number of ways to not only deal with sadness but to answer your question of how to deal with loneliness.

It is not a big deal if you don’t know how to deal with loneliness because many people don’t and that is completely ok.

The problem shows up when you don’t want to learn about how to deal with loneliness.

This life keeps giving you different challenges and your task is to deal with these challenges effectively.

Take this question of how to deal with loneliness as a challenge and try to find the answer to it.

The reason is that this is your life and you are not going to deal with loneliness then who will.

This article tries to help you in this regard and we shall search the ways to deal with loneliness together.

First, we need to know what loneliness is and then we shall look for ways to answer how to deal with loneliness. 

Why We Feel Lonely

Loneliness is a feeling that affects many around the world while some of them understand the concept behind loneliness and others are only consumed by it.

Have you ever been lonely while you are already in-crowd and you just can’t relate to anyone there?

If the answer is yes then you have been lonely. Probably, every single one of us has experienced loneliness at some point in their lives.

Some of us feel lonely while they are actually alone and there is no one around them while others feel lonely when they are actually surrounded by many people which is, in my opinion, the worst kind of loneliness.

Let’s learn how to deal with loneliness. 

  • What is Loneliness?

Let us try to understand what is loneliness.

There is no complete definition of loneliness and psychologists and scientists have never been able to define loneliness separately.

However, it can be explained as a complex mental as well as an emotional phenomenon that has a powerful emotion at its base and the emotion has survival value for children.

Every human being has suffered from a certain degree of abandonment at one point in his life or another and he still remembers the scary feeling that came along with the abandonment.

This feeling stays with us and whenever we are anticipated with a similar feeling we get a twinge of distress that we experience as loneliness.

This can also happen among a crowd of friends or even with a loved one.

This feeling can be confusing and can cause problems if you don’t know what is actually happening.

However, there are certain ways that can answer your question of how to deal with loneliness.

  • How to deal with loneliness with these tips

Most people don’t know the answer to the question of how to deal with loneliness but they do want to know how they can deal with loneliness.

Here are a few tips which can be used to answer the question of how to deal with loneliness.

These are healthy ways in which you can deal with your loneliness. 

Few healthy ways to cope with loneliness are mentioned below: Let’s learn how you can cope with the feeling of loneliness

  1. Notice Your Thought Pattern

The first thing you need to understand how to deal with loneliness is the fact that it is all in your head.

You are going to receive from your thoughts whatever you are feeding to your mind.

Always try to notice your self-defeating thoughts and how you are affected by these thoughts.

We sometimes become self-centered when it comes to dealing with our emotions and we work on self-serving bias and ignore others’ helpful role in our lives.

Find the negative emotions within yourself and the first thing you need to do is to get rid of these emotions if you want to deal with loneliness.

  1. It is just a feeling

There is a saying that ‘feelings are just visitors, let them come and go’.

When you feel lonely, there is something in your brain which triggers the memory of that feeling and not because you are actually feeling alone or in pain.

Our brain is programmed to pay attention to any memory of feeling which is related to pain and danger.

Loneliness is a painful feeling and that’s why it gets our attention.

Our brain contemplates why it is feeling the way it does, theorizes about why one is feeling lonely, and often gets confused.

Then it becomes an even bigger problem so you need to realize when you have to get over the feeling instead of thinking about it too much. Understand its just a feeling. 

  1. Support Group

Even though support groups are full fledge therapy techniques but you don’t have to go to full-fledge therapy sessions to find out how to deal with loneliness.

You just need to find some other people who are just like you. You can find a number of tools to help you find people like that.

Once you have shared your experience with people who are going through the same as you, you feel a little more secure and understood.

This technique, if done right, is guaranteed to make you feel better and you should give it a try at least once.

Get support from support groups. 

How to deal with Loneliness (A Comprehensive Guide)
  1. Reach Out

Reaching out and finding helping hands is might sound a little needy to you but it could be one of the best sources to deal with loneliness.

Seeking social support has become one of the most noted and acceptable coping strategies of psychological stressors.

Don’t let yourself drown into the feeling of isolation and self-doubt.

You can cultivate new friendships, be better with your older friends, and help them in this regard.

Remember the time when your loneliness made you cry and now you can become a comforting shoulder for others who have been going through the same as you. You can also take part in arts.

  1. Be Kind

Kindness should be everyone’s go-to, we need to be kind to one another as there is a lot of cruelty and atrocities are going on the world that you should be kind to as many people as you can.

We only have one another to deal with our problems and that’s why we should get each other’s back.

Even when you can’t give anything to anyone, you can always offer love, generosity, and kindness to the people around you.

You will see that a little kindness goes a long way to make people feel better.

We are a lot similar than we thought we are, even the celebrities with all the glitz and glam sometimes feel lonely and depressed too.

You don’t know what people are going through in their life so just be kind always. 

Be kind to yourself and others. 

  1. Go Out

People with loneliness have a habit of canceling at the last minute. They are good at making plans but not so good at making those plans work.

Always try to show up for the plans you have made and try not to cancel as it will help you get over the negative feelings.

Procrastinating can be way more dangerous than you thought it could be.

Try to be the person who just does not cancel anymore even if you are a little late or you are attending with a little enthusiasm just show up and it is promised that it will get better with the passage of time.

How to deal with Loneliness (A Comprehensive Guide)
  1. Give it a Fight

Some feelings are not only feelings but they have become our habits and they are so toxic without us even realizing them.

Loneliness can be a really toxic emotional as well as a mental habit and you need to get rid of it as soon as possible.

However, it can’t be done in a single day. There need to be a plan to fight the mental and emotional habits of loneliness.

Make healthy connections and promote healthy interaction with friends who bring the best out of you.

Make an effort to reach out to others. Try to start a conversation with someone, try to connect even it is a virtual connection like face timing or skyping. 

  1. Attention

Attention is the key here, the more you pay attention to your negative thoughts, the more they are going to consume you.

If you want to actually know how to deal with loneliness, you need to pay less attention to negative, toxic, and lonely thoughts.

You can divert your attention in a number of ways and you just have to select one of these ways to help you get through this time.

Pay more attention to the people around you than your own toxic thought and you will see a clear difference.

Moreover, you will also have fun just by noticing the world around and different phenomena happening. 

How to deal with Loneliness (A Comprehensive Guide)
  • FAQ about how to deal with loneliness

How can loneliness be measured?

There are a number of psychological tools available to measure loneliness and some of them are given below.

These are not the only ones and there are many others. 

– The Campaign to End Loneliness Measurement tool

– The De-Jong Giervald 6-Item Loneliness Scale

– The UCLA 3-Item Loneliness Scale

– Single-Item questions

Should I see a mental health professional if I’m feeling lonely?

It is usually not a requirement to see a mental health professional because loneliness is not a disorder and it is only a feeling.

However, if you think it is going to work for you to talk to a mental health professional or a psychologist then you should go for it. 

  • References

Hansen, (B). (July, 2018). 10 More Ideas to Help with Loneliness. Retrieved from: Campaigntoendloneliness.org: “How can you measure loneliness?”

How to deal with Loneliness (A Comprehensive Guide)

Juanita Agboola

Juanita Agboola is the editor in chief of HFNE and an expert in mental health online. She has been writing about online behavior, mental health and psychology issues since 2012. All Guides are reviewed by our editorial team which constitutes various clinical psychologists, PhD and PsyD colleagues.