45+ Tips from a hopeless romantic

hopeless romantic

What does it mean to be a hopeless romantic?

To be a hopeless romantic means to have true love as an ideal and to cherish it more than anything. To be idealistic, to have blind trust in love and in a happy relationship until death tears you apart. 

Hopeless romantics feel that the presence of the loved one, their sight, their smile and gaze, a hug or a stolen kiss, are all the embodiment of happiness. It means to be happy merely because your loved one is close to you. 

In the 21st century, a hopeless romantic is a person who still allows themselves to dream with their eyes open and to escape through daydreams from objective reality, in order to have a deeper understanding of personal existence or a life situation. To be a hopeless romantic means, in simple terms, to contemplate, to reflect, to idealize and then to express in a sensitive way a personal belief, a general human ideal, an idea. 

Words of love. Romance means not letting your loved one forget how precious and loved they are! How much you want them, how much you need them, how much they mean to you. 

Saying words of love to them, sending them messages of love – this is what a romantic lover (man or woman) will not forget to do. This idea of romance will never die, as long as there are lovers – because to be in love means to want to shout your love so that everyone can hear you! 

A hopeless romantic will not forget to remind their loved one of their feelings. 

Gestures of affection. The closeness, the look, the hug, the kiss – all are romantic gestures not missing in a loving relationship. It sometimes happens that we move away emotionally from our partner, even though we love them – this is because we forget the importance of these small gestures that create intimacy and speak of affection. 

Gestures of appreciation. Compliments, little surprises and especially moral support, they all mean romance. Tell the loved one how valuable/attractive they are; give them a spontaneous kiss, bring them chocolate/a glass of wine in the evening; be present, listen and offer moral support to your loved one. Romance is not just an abstract idea, an ideal, a dream – it is what the person says and does to remind the loved one of their love and appreciation. 

45+ Tips from a hopeless romantic

What is true romance?

Many times, movies give us a very distorted picture of what love or romance is and set unrealistic expectations when it comes to our relationships.

Who wouldn’t want, for example, their partner to build a house for them exactly as they imagined it? But when it comes to real relationships, romance is much more complex than in movies.

Gifts and surprises can make you forget what love really means. We would not be honest if we said that we do not want to receive gifts or surprises from time to time from important people in our lives.

It shows us that it pays attention to us and makes us feel important. However, if we always receive material things, we can transform and we will want more and more things, rather than the real affection we receive from our loved ones. We will lose sight of what love really means.

Love and romance are not just about gifts, it is about knowing your partner on a deeper and more meaningful level.  Material things provide only short-term satisfaction.

True romance is curiosity about your partner’s world. 

The key to having a more romantic and long-lasting relationship is curiosity. When you are curious about your loved one, it means that you are curious about their world and everything in it.

Suppose your partner likes going to the theatre. You may not want to go, but you do, because it’s not about the show, it’s about showing that you actually want to know more about your partner.

Such things will cultivate intimacy and help build a stronger and happier bond between the two of you.

45+ Tips from a hopeless romantic

Curiosity does not only mean engaging in activities that your partner wants to do but also curiosity about him/her as a person. 

Sometimes we tend to come to certain conclusions and make certain assumptions. You may find, for example, that you judge your partner for certain habits he has or for the decisions he makes.

When you approach your loved one in this way, it is very easy to misinterpret situations, hurt his feelings and provoke unnecessary discussions.

For example, it can be difficult for your partner to talk about his / her feelings and, as a result, he/she becomes very internalized and closes in on him / her during important conversations. This may give you the impression that he does not care about your feelings.

Instead of rushing to draw certain conclusions, try to see the situation from your partner’s perspective. This gives him the opportunity to lower the “walls” and open up so that you will find out things you did not know about him/her. You will get closer and connect more with each other.

Forget the movies and enjoy romance in real life!

45+ Tips from a hopeless romantic

45 romantic gestures to surprise your partner with

  1. Send your partner a text message thanking him/her for being in your life
  2. Leave a love note on the bedside table before you leave for work
  3. Prepare breakfast… in a different way
  4. Prepare dinner … in a different way
  5. Hide love messages at breakfast (eg heart-shaped omelette) or .. light a few candles for dinner and bring them a good glass of wine (or another drink you both like)
  6. Buy your partner flowers/chocolate
  7. Buy flowers spontaneously when you walk down the street together
  8. Smell the flowers together
  9. Take them by the hand
  10. Gently kiss the wrist or .. neck or .. earlobe, the tip of the nose, inside of the forearm, inside the elbow, back of the knee, knees, soles, etc.
  11. Men, give her your coat when it’s cold
  12. Take them in your arms spontaneously
  13. Take long walks somewhere with a beautiful view
  14. Plan a picnic just for the two of you
  15. Dance … in the house .. or/and on the street, even if there is no music, you will do great!
  16. Watch a romantic movie together (and try not to look bored. You can even pay attention to your partner’s reactions and that’s how you learn something)
  17. Offer them your food
  18. Tell them how beautiful/handsome they are
  19. Give more compliments, but try to be convincing
  20.  Send them flowers as a gift
  21. Take a shower/a bath together
  22. Watch the sunrise together
  23. ..and the sunset
  24. ..and the starry sky
  25. ..and the sky without stars
  26. ..look at the moon
  27. Try to learn a verse or a love poem to recite to them .. maybe when you look at the moon
  28.  Hold their head in your lap and play with his/her hair
  29.  Massage their shoulders
  30. ..and the legs
  31.  Spend time together, just talking
  32.  Practice active listening
  33.  Express your feelings in writing
  34.  Wink at them or give them a smile
  35.  Take the time to hug your partner at least once a day
  36.  Remember your first date
  37.  Celebrate special days with special moments
  38.  Help with household chores.
  39.  Give them an unexpected kiss on the back, forehead, shoulder…
  40.  Be supportive when your partner needs it
  41.  Tell them how eager you are to see them later
  42.  Have dinner at a romantic restaurant once a week
  43.  Make your partner feel special around other people
  44.  Express your admiration when you see him/her
  45.  Say “I love you!”
45+ Tips from a hopeless romantic

35 Hopeless romantic quotes to read to your partner

  1. “Life is not a song, sweetling.

Someday you may learn that, to your sorrow.”

George R.R. Martin

  1. “Women want the fairytale. Not all women, of course, but most women grow up dreaming about the kind of man who would risk everything for them, even knowing they might get hurt.” ― Nicholas Sparks
  1. “All the knowledge I possess everyone else can acquire, but my heart is all my own.” ― Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
  1. “Your memory feels like home to me.

So whenever my mind wanders, it always finds it’s way back to you.”

Ranata Suzuki

  1. “I am eternally, devastatingly romantic, and I thought people would see it because ‘romantic’ doesn’t mean ‘sugary.’ It’s dark and tormented — the furore of passion, the despair of an idealism that you can’t attain.” ― Catherine Breillat
  1. “I raised you so high that every other man on earth is now doomed to live in your shadow.”― Ranata Suzuki
  1. “Romanticism is the abuse of adjectives” ― Alfred De Musset 
  1. “Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.”― Carroll Bryant
  1. “I believe in love at first sight… But it’s not the first moment you lay eyes on a person, it’s the moment you first see the person they truly are.” ― Ranata Suzuki
  1. “Freedom is the dream you dream

While putting the thought in chains again –” ― Giacomo Leopardi

  1. “If a man could pass through Paradise in a dream, and have a flower presented to him as a pledge that his soul had really been there, and if he found that flower in his hand when he awoke – Aye! and what then?” ― Samuel Taylor Coleridge
  1. “Kiss me, so long but as a kiss may last!”― Percy Shelley
  1. “History is not a nightmare from which I am trying to awaken, but rather, a glorious tale which I wish to be cast in.” ― Pietros Maneos
  1. “The ordinary modes of human thinking are magical, religious, social, and personal. We want our wishes to come true; we want the universe to care about us; we want the approval of those around us; we want to get even with that s.o.b. who insulted us at the last tribal council. For most people, wanting to know the cold truth about the world is way, way down the list.” ― John Derbyshire
  1. “I felt I could turn the earth upside down with my littlest finger. I wanted to dance, to fly in the air and kiss the sun and stars with my singing heart. I, along with myself, was enjoying myself for the first time as with the grandest company.” ― Anzia Yezierska
  1. “The Open Road goes to the used-car lot.” ― Louis Simpson
  1. “On reflection, falling in love for him was not only extraordinary but rather comical. By having closely observed Kiyoaki Matsugae, he knew full well what sort of man should fall in love. Falling in love was a special privilege given to someone whose external, sensuous charm and internal ignorance, disorganization, and lack of cognizance permitted him to form a kind of fantasy about others. It was a rude privilege. Honda was quite aware that since his childhood, he had been the opposite of such a man.” ― Yukio Mishima
  1. “The desire of the moth for the star” ― Percy Bysshe Shelley
  1. “Upon the publication of Goethe’s epic drama, the Faustian legend had reached an almost unapproachable zenith. Although many failed to appreciate, or indeed, to understand this magnum opus in its entirety, from this point onward his drama was the rule by which all other Faust adaptations were measured. Goethe had eclipsed the earlier legends and became the undisputed authority on the subject of Faust in the eyes of the new Romantic generation. To deviate from his path would be nothing short of blasphemy.” ― E.A. Bucchianeri
  1. “Romanticism is the expression of man’s urge to rise above reason and common sense, just as rationalism is the expression of his urge to rise above theology and emotion.” ― Charles Yost
  1. “The dandy can only play a part by setting himself up in opposition. He can only be sure of his own existence by finding it in the expression of others’ faces. Other people are his mirror. A mirror that quickly becomes clouded, it is true, since the human capacity for attention is limited. It must be ceaselessly stimulated, spurred on by provocation.
    The dandy, therefore, is always compelled to astonish. Singularity is his vocation, excess his way to perfection. Perpetually incomplete, always on the fringe of things, he compels others to create him, while denying their values. He plays at life because he is unable to live it. He plays at it until he dies, except for the moments when he is alone and without a mirror. For the dandy, to be alone is not to exist. The romantics talked so grandly about solitude only because it was their real horror, the one thing they could not bear.” ― Albert Camus
  1. “Our objective as a realist is to maximize our worth, and our objective as a romanticist is to be foolishly youthful.” ― Bonga Lee
  1. “Those novels with old-fashioned heroes and heroines in them — are ruinous!” ― William Dean Howells
  1. “[H]e initially conceived of Olivier as a man of the greatest promise destroyed by a fatal flaw, the unreasoning passion for a woman dissolving into violence, desperately weakening everything he tried to do. For how could learning and poetry be defended when it produced such dreadful results and was advanced by such imperfect creatures? At least Julien did not see the desperate fate of the ruined lover as a nineteenth-century novelist or a poet might have done, recasting the tale to create some appealing romantic hero, dashed to pieces against the unyielding society that produced him. Rather, his initial opinion — held almost to the last — was of Olivier as a failure, ruined by a terrible weakness.” Iain Pears
  1. “I set about seeking a thread, a theme, a style, in the realm of legend. Something that might allow me to give free rein to my juvenile sense of romanticism and the beautiful image.” ― Leni Riefenstahl
  1. “There are many toxic myths about love, but perhaps the worst is that “love conquers all.” This myth hurts us in all kinds of ways — such as the untold zillions of hours and wasted tears spent by people trying to heal, reform or otherwise change a partner. Especially pernicious is the idea that we’re supposed to “give until it hurts” — in fact, for some of us, that the measure of our worth is our ability to give, right down to the last drop of ourselves. That is wrong. Love isn’t supposed to hurt, and we should not and do not need to sacrifice ourselves for good relationships.” ― Franklin Veaux
  1. “Behind my romanticism lies a primitive woman with primitive hunger.” ― Anaïs Nin
  1. “For there were soft remembrance and sweet trust

In one fond breast, to which his own would melt,

And in its tenderer hour on that, his bosom dwelt.” ― Lord Byron

  1. “I’m infected with a romantic fever. It began in my teens when I read Baudelaire in secret.” ― Renée Vivien
  1. “Feet on the ground, eyes to the stars, heart in union with the Superior.” ― Bonga Lee
  1. “The blasphemy is reverent, since every blasphemy is, ultimately,  participation in holiness.”― Albert Camus
  1. “The real stylistic creation of the Revolution is, however, not this classicism but romanticism, that is to say, not the art that it actually practised but the art for which it prepared the way. The Revolution itself was unable to realize the new style because it possessed new political aims, new social institutions, new standards of law, but so far no new society speaking its own language. Only the bare presupposition for the rise of such a society existed at that time. Art lagged behind political developments and still moved partly, as Marx already noted, in the old antiquated forms. Artists and writers are, in fact, by no means always prophets and art falls behind the times just as often as it hastens on in advance of them.” ― Arnold Hauser
  1. “Why should one exaggerate and distort things, if one does not feel disturbed and frightened by them? ‘Things and actions are what they are, and the consequences of them will be what they will be; why then should we wish to be deceived?’ says Bishop Butler, and thereby gives the best description of the serene and ‘healthy’ eighteenth-century sense of reality with its aversion to all illusion.” ― Arnold Hauser
  1. “In every drop of love, I find you

My every drop of love is for you

With every drop of me, I love you.” ― Krishna Chhetri

  1. “And beautiful, and there the sea I found

Calm as a cradled child in dreamless slumber bound.”

― Percy Bysshe Shelley

45+ Tips from a hopeless romantic

Conclusions

In conclusion, love and romance are more than gifts. It’s about all the things that money can’t buy. It’s about time, attention, affection and curiosity. All of these are more valuable than any gift you could ever receive or give.

Let us know what you think of these tips and quotes about romanticism, or if you have any questions! 

FAQ about hopeless romantic

What does it mean to be a hopeless romantic?

To be a hopeless romantic means to have a kind and loving attitude towards life itself. In a relationship, a hopeless romantic see the partner as their everything, the most beautiful and precious gift they have. 

How do you know if you’re a hopeless romantic?

If you want to know if you are a hopeless romantic you have to do an introspection. Ask yourself: Am I truly in love with this person? Do I want to share the best moments with my partner? Do I daydream about my partner and the things that we could do together all day?

How do you tell if a guy is a hopeless romantic?

To tell if a guy is a hopeless romantic or not, you have to notice his behaviour. Does he make you feel like anything you wish can become true? Is he not afraid of commitment? Does he take you to romantic restaurants/walk/makes romantic gifts, etc?

Can two hopeless romantics date?

Yes, two hopeless romantics can date. As long as both partners have common interests and shared values, they can try to be together as a couple. 

Are men hopeless romantics?

Men can be hopeless romantics too, not just women. Men can also dream of a life full of love, commitments, joy and beautiful relationships. Love does not discriminate. 

Further reading

  1. Meet Me on Love Lane (Hopeless Romantics Book)
  2. Couple’s Love Tracker: Couple Activity Book To Keep Track Of Your Acts Of Kindness To Each Other
  3. A Hopeless Romantic
  4. On the Corner of Love and Hate 
  5. The Ingredients of You and Me

45+ Tips from a hopeless romantic

Nadejda Romanciuc

Nadejda Romanciuc holds a Bachelor’s degree in psychology and a diploma in Addiction studies. She is part of the Romanian Association of Integrative Psychotherapy as a psychotherapist under supervision. She's practicing online counselling for over two years and is a strong advocate for mental health.