Getting back with an ex(How &why)

Getting back with an ex
JuanitaHFNE

Juanita Agboola is the editor in chief of HFNE and an expert in mental health online. She has been writing about online behaviour, mental health and psychology issues since 2012. All Guides are reviewed by our editorial team which constitutes various clinical psychologists, PhD and PsyD colleagues.

Getting back with an ex – A brief guide to understanding the idea of getting back with an ex.

Getting back with an ex(How &why)

In this guide, we are going to discuss the idea of getting back with an ex and in which cases are correct to go back or not.

Getting back with an ex

Relationships always go through difficult situations. In some cases, things get fixed and the relationship continues in its best form, in others things have no solution and both or one of the parties decides to end. When a relationship ends, there is always one of the two that is most affected and in some cases, you want to recover the relationship.

You might find yourself in one of those moments where you ended up (or your partner ended up with you) and miss returning to the relationship. You need to be next to that person who made you laugh and with whom you spent a pleasant time.

There is also the situation in which the relationship was not at its best and there were certain types of abuse. You did not feel well but at the same time, you did not consider that this could be a possibility for the relationship to end (when indeed it is).

Now, you are at the point where you miss your ex. You have days, weeks and even months without knowing your ex and the idea that it may be dating another person or that he is simply making its life around your head. You start thinking about everything the relationship was and wonder if it would be a good idea to consider getting back with an ex.

Getting back with an ex is a thought and a question that often comes up in our head. We know that the reasons why the relationship ended are not the best, but that does not prevent us from thinking that things could be different and the idea of ​​getting back with an ex is not bad. It is normal to think if you can ever return to someone with whom you have ended a relationship.

When a person seriously considers getting back with an ex, they must take into account a series of points before attempting to make some kind of movement. The reasons why returning with an ex should be clear and that it simply is not a matter of feelings that resurfaced a few minutes ago.

It is normal that the relationships end and that in many cases the former decides to return. Many reasons lead to a break and many more to a reconciliation. Before thinking seriously about going back to your ex, you should think about why.

Getting back with an ex(How &why)

Reasons why you try getting back with an ex

There are many reasons you should have at this time if the thought of getting back with an ex is running through your mind. You miss his company, you feel that your ex is the ideal person or you just don’t accept the fact that the relationship ended. These and others may be the reasons why you are trying to return to your ex. Other reasons may be:

  • Your ex gave you the economic or emotional stability you were looking for
  • In your mind you had a wedding mounted and your ex was the only person you visualized marrying
  • You have low self-esteem. You don’t value yourself enough and you think you can’t get another person other than your ex
  • You want to make your ex suffer for having ended the relationship

Some of the reasons listed may be one of the reasons you have why you are thinking of getting back with an ex. Apart from this, surely you have others such as the good treatment it gives you or someone else.

Getting back with an ex(How &why)

Getting back with an ex is a good idea?
If you are trying to get back to an ex, it is important to know the reasons why the relationship ended. If the reasons why the relationship ended involve infidelities, physical or mental abuse, definitely returning to an ex would not be a good idea. While it’s true that you miss your ex, do you also miss the abuse and the way it made you suffer? If you want to return even knowing all the damage it caused you, it is time that you seek other help since the person of the problem could be you. You don’t want the cause of the relationship to end, but you have to work your self-esteem. You are not valued enough and you are allowing your ex or another person to mistreat you and not respect you.

Sometimes people accept all kinds of conditions to be with their ex again. It is not healthy to accept abuse to be with someone. The person who feels love for another is never going to make the person it has by their side go through some kind of suffering, on the contrary, it will try to avoid it. This is something you should consider.

If the relationship ended for reasons that include distance or that maybe both were at different times in the relationship, coming back doesn’t sound like a bad idea. Sometimes the distance causes separations and if both are at a point where they can get back together and the distance is a problem, it does not sound bad. There is also something that happens and that is that in relationships one of the two does not have the same level of commitment and things end. Over time that person has matured and reconsidered and wants to be in the relationship again. If you feel you can give your ex a chance, it’s not bad to try.

If your ex comes back to you after you have been writing and calling at all times, you should know that this is not a good idea. Sometimes a person can return to a relationship due to the pressure that another exerts on him but in many cases, this is not a good idea, you are practically forcing your ex to return and that person can leave the relationship again. There is a difference between trying to return with your ex and suffocating his person with a massive bombardment of messages. You cannot force someone to be with you simply because you want to be with that person. In the best case, you have to accept that your ex does not want to return the relationship and redo your life.

One of the worst cases to think about getting back with an ex is if your motives are to harm you. Under no circumstances is it right to return with someone just to make that person suffer. If your ex ended the relationship and is rebuilding its life, you should also do the same. It is not healthy to spend your strength and energy trying to make your ex’s life miserable. You should try to use those energies to focus on you and also rebuild your life.

There is another important aspect where you should consider getting back with an ex. There is a situation where both have agreed to end the relationship, but they are still friends, one of the two makes a proposal to the other about wanting to be together, but without commitment. If you feel good about this decision, there is no problem returning with your ex and having fun, but you should know that this is not a guaranteed way to return your ex. Having sex with your ex does not guarantee that the relationship will return to what it was before. If you still have feelings for your ex, maybe seeing you with your ex on another level could be dangerous for your feelings. In this case, it is better to continue with your life and accept the fact that the relationship ended.

Getting back with an ex(How &why)

FAQs about getting back with an ex

My ex was unfaithful but it says it wants to come back to me. It tells me that it will change, what should I do?

Be careful when the relationship ends because of infidelity. An unfaithful person did not think about the damage it could cause to its partner and only realizes that it acted badly when the relationship ended. You are the only person aware that if the reasons that led that person to infidelity are valid. Infidelity is not justified but people make mistakes. Be careful and keep analyzing the landscape. Do not make an accelerated decision, remember that your feelings were hurt and you would not like to go through the same thing again.

Is it correct to write to my ex?

It all depends on the reasons why you do it. If your ex made it clear to you that it no longer wants to be with you and has not rewritten you since the relationship ended, the best thing you can do is not write to your ex. If you need something that you only know that your ex is the only person who can help you or has the knowledge, you can do it, but remember to be prudent and clearly explain the reasons why you are writing.

Is it right to have sex with my ex?

If you both agree on the point of the relationship and there are no feelings, you can do it because fun with awareness has nothing wrong. But if you have not surpassed your ex and you think that having sex is the best way to recover the relationship, it is best not to have sex. This can lead to you falling into confusion and suffering much more.

What can I do if I still can’t get over my ex?

It is difficult to accept when a relationship ends, but you should know that if your ex has already continued with his life you should do the same. Relationships begin and end. The best thing you can do is remember the beauty of the relationship and continue with your life. Another person will appear in your life and you will realize why it was right to have let your old relationship come to an end.

Is it healthy to maintain a friendly relationship with my ex?

There are people who, after a love break, manage to establish a relationship of friendship. Maintain a friendship with a possible ex when both are clear that the relationship was in the past. If you still feel that you have not surpassed your ex, having a friendship with that person would not be the most convenient at the moment.


Conclusion

The idea of getting back with an ex is always present in people’s minds sometimes in life, but that does not mean that returning with your ex is the solution. Love breaks have a reason why they occur. If you have ended a relationship and are thinking of returning to your ex, think about the reasons why the relationship did not work in the first place and if it is right at this time to try to have a relationship with that person.

Sometimes people struggle with the thought that the former partner is the ideal person and that no one will appear as the former partner. There are many people out there, ready for a relationship and to give you what you need.

Getting back with an ex(How &why)

Recommended links 

  1. Get Back With Your Ex: The Proven Method for Getting the Love of Your Life Back in Your Life 
  2. Couples That Work: How To Thrive in Love and at Work
  3. How To Get Over Your Ex: Get Over A Breakup And Mend A Broken Heart

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