In this article, we will share with you our anger thermometer guide & worksheet. Continue reading to get the best tips on anger management for adults and children.
Anger thermometer guide: how to stay calm
Anger is a perfectly normal feeling and, in most cases, is considered a positive emotion, but we cannot say the same thing when it becomes really problematic and takes an aggressive form that involves outbursts or even physical altercations.
Anger control is very important in avoiding actions or words that we may regret later.
Before the situation gets worse, consider some strategies to help you keep it under control.
Count to 10 to eliminate the tension you have assimilated. If you are extremely nervous, count to 100 if needed.
As you do this, you will be able to notice how your pulse will return to normal and your anger will no longer be felt in your body.
Take a deep breath in. When you are nervous, the pace at which you breathe increases. Take a deep breath, take a deep breath and exhale through your mouth for a few minutes.
Take a walk around. Exercise or even walking will help you calm down and reduce anger. Walking in the park, by bike or on foot, can be beneficial for both the mind and the body.
Relax your muscles. The tension that occurs as a result of anger can be felt in the body, and to eliminate it, you can start by gradually relaxing the different muscle groups.
Breathing is the key. You can use a few yoga exercises such as rotating your neck or shoulders without the need for sophisticated equipment.
Free your mind. Choose a room where there is complete silence and you know that nothing can bother you. Close your eyes and try to imagine a relaxing setting.
Pay attention to details: what colour the water is, how high the mountains are, how the birds’ chirp, etc. This practise will help you calm your anger.
If imagination exercises are not exactly your strong point, then let your favourite music come into play.
Write in a diary. Things you can’t say, you can keep in a diary. This way you unload without hurting anyone and without worrying about the words you use.
This method helps you relax and look at the events in your life that have caused you the feeling of anger.
Change your routine. If you notice that you start to get nervous at work before drinking your coffee, use this. How about a cup of coffee before you get to work?
Talk to a friend. Don’t let any situation annoy you.
If you feel the need to unload, talk to someone, and possibly receive advice, seek the help and time of a trusted friend who will listen and support you.
Be empathetic. Try to put yourself in other people’s shoes and look at the situation from their perspective.
When you tell the story as they saw it, you choose a new point of view to consider and gradually let go of the feeling of anger.
Express your anger. It is perfectly normal to say how you feel and what you feel, as long as you do it in a proper way.
Outbursts do not solve any problem, but mature dialogues can help you reduce stress and eliminate anger.
The map of emotions
I don’t know if you know the meeting of destiny between Paul Ekman and the Dalai Lama, but I tell you that it resulted in what I think is the most extraordinary project ever made in the analysis of emotions, the map of emotions.
According to her, anger is experienced and generates responses (cascades) such as:
1. Annoyance – Response: suppression; aggressive passive; “boiling”
2. Frustration – Response: suppression; aggressive passive; insult; rivalry “boiling”; undermining
3. Exasperation – Answer: suppression; aggressive passive; dispute; insult; rivalry “boiling”; undermining
4. Argumentation – Answer: suppression; insult; dispute; “boiling”; undermining (putting sticks in wheels)
5. Bitterness – Answer: suppression; aggressive passive; dispute; insult; rivalry “boiling”; undermining
6. Revenge (desire for revenge) Answer: dispute; insult; rivalry scream; boiling; suppress: undermine; use of force
7. Anger (violence) Answer: insult; rivalry scream; boiling; suppress: undermine; use of force
Example: Although I would have liked to write that I felt angry today, however, I realized based on the analysis of emotion and its response (from the map of emotions based on the clinical experience of 60 years of Paul Ekman), that in fact, the emotion I experienced today has risen to the level of bitterness.
Anger thermometer worksheet
|Use the image of the thermometer below to colour and note the intensity of the anger you feel. 10 represents the highest level of anger, while 1 is the lowest level (ie someone who feels very little, even almost not at all angry).|
To help you better understand your level of anger, please read the statements below and select the one you consider most relatable.
I feel that this situation has made me feel very uncomfortable, but I know that it is in my abilities the power to fix it.It is difficult for me to control my emotions, I feel “hot” but I try to keep my temper.I feel mistreated and become passive-aggressive, argumentative.I am passive-aggressive, I use words of insult, I am disruptive. I feel exasperated and I start to warm up a lot, I feel my heart rate getting faster.I start arguing, I raise my voice and try to make my opinion heard.I feel bitterness in my soul, I interrupt the other to make myself heard.I use name-calling and try to disarm my interlocutor and diminish his power.I start thinking about revenge, it’s hard for me to control my emotions, I can use physical force.I am verbally and/or physically violent, my mind is clouded and I feel like I have no control over what I do.
This anger thermometer worksheet can be used even by children aged 4 to 12, or by anyone aged 12 and up.
In the case of children, it is recommended that the parent, guardian or teacher adapt the statements from 1 to 10, with clearer examples for the child.
Tips for parents with angry children:
- Comment on the child’s behaviour when he is good – For example: “I like the way you treated your brother when he took your things.”
An involved parent who observes can find dozens of things he likes about his child’s behaviour… “I like that you came to the table without reminding you”; “I appreciate how you arranged your clothes even if you were in a hurry to go play”;
“You were very patient while I was on the phone”; “I’m glad you shared the cake with your sister”; “I like the way you think about others”; “Thank you for telling me the truth about what happened.”
- Ignore inappropriate behaviour that you do not tolerate: If the child screams and bothers you when you are on the phone, you can answer: “Thank you for waiting while I talked on the phone, now I’m done. What happened.”
Ignore what you don’t like about your child’s requests when you’re on the phone.
If you answer him when he screams and you are on the phone then you will encourage him to continue to do so.
The screams catch your eye, so next time it will be even noisier to make sure you answer.
- Say “no” clearly and firmly when needed: The limits must be clearly explained and always refreshed. Of course, you will not say “no” all the time, when you decide to break the rules and say “yes” explain why. Know when it is acceptable to break the rules and when it is not very important for children.
- Give your children the opportunity to consume their energy through exercises and outdoor games, at home and at school: Children need physical activity for the same reasons. Remember that you can allow children these activities without endangering their safety. Remember that hugs make strong emotions less difficult for children.
- Use humour: A good joke or a little humour can often ease a nervous situation and allow the child to cope.
- Do not scream or challenge your child: Parents often provoke their children and scream at them when they annoy them. This behaviour only increases the feeling that you cannot control yourself. Wait until the “storm” calms down.
- Do not try to talk rationally with a child when you are in the middle of a fight: Many parents use logic when their children are nervous. As adults, we use reasoning to get out of tense situations, but for children, this is a challenge because they do not have the same ability to stop and think as adults.
- Do not freeze: Some parents freeze when their children show nervousness or start screaming at them. If you are such a person you will find that the child gets angry for you to give up.
- Listen to the child: Give your child multiple opportunities to be listened to. Even if you do not agree with the child’s anger and opinion, listen to him. anger and the unimportant feeling make him react to get your attention and force you to listen to him.
10 conclusions and possible recommendations
- Prevention is more important than treatment!
- Anger and addictions have an incredibly strong gravitational force. They are invisible, deceptive and alluring.
- It is mandatory to work preventively with the release and experience of emotions because I guarantee that you will not be able to recognize them as they come.
- Emotions blind you even when you try to do it consciously. They have ways to fool your logical mind. Don’t underestimate them.
- You have the necessary mechanisms to resist the temptations and your triggers. Be careful what you train for in relaxation when you are relatively balanced.
- Seek to see what are the factors that trigger your untreated wounds;
- Ask for help from the first signs of internal struggle. Better safe than sorry;
- Don’t blame yourself
- Your body does its best to return to a balanced state and will do it, it is important to make it healthy. Make sure you give it the necessary tools in advance.
- Look for the meaning and lesson of the experience for you.
If you have any questions, comments or recommendations on the subject, please let us know!
The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did), by Philippa Perry (Aut
No-Drama Discipline: the bestselling parenting guide to nurturing your child’s developing mind (Mindful Parenting), by Daniel J. Siegel
Mind Over Mood, Second Edition: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think, by Dennis Greenberger
Overcoming Anger and Irritability: A Self-help Guide Using Cognitive Behavioral Techniques (Overcoming Books), by Dr William Davies
Other mental health worksheets
Below are a list of other mental health worksheets which may interest you:
Kent Hoffman, Raising a Secure Child: How Circle of Security Parenting Can Help You Nurture Your Child’s Attachment, Emotional Resilience, and Freedom to Explore
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